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Saturday, September 7, 2013

7 SHOCKING laws that haunt women in Saudi Arabia

In a historic move last week, Saudi Arabia passed a legal ban on domestic violence and other form of abuse against women. The law is the first of its kind in a nation that has been dubbed as one of the worst places for women to live.

But will a Saudi Arabian woman report abuse by her male guardian? The domestic violence legislation is just a baby step towards emancipation in a country that considers girls “ready for marriage at 10", and where rape laws are a matter of ridicule. 

No access to basic rights like healthcare without male guardian


Male guardianship
Fatima A, a 40-plus woman living in Riyadh, cannot board a plane without a written permission from her son.  
In conservative Saudi Arabia, a woman's life is not her own; she is nothing but a legal minor.
Every woman in Saudi Arabia must have a male guardian. Till she ties the knot, the guardianship is the job of the father, but even uncles, brothers and sons can assume the role of a guardian.
As per this tradition, Saudi women need a go ahead from the guardian to study, work, travel and marry. That's not all. They need the permission of the guardian to access certain types of healthcare, thus increasing their dependency on their male counterparts. 
A woman's access to justice is also restricted for she cannot file a case or even be heard in court without a legal guardian. And often, it is the male guardian who is abusive.
These discriminatory practices keep women away from their basic rights, giving them no authority over their own lives.

Fathers 'sell' teenage girls to men in their 70s, 80s


Child marriage
Twelve-year-old Fatima's father sold her for marriage to a 50-year-old man who already had a wife and 10 children. Fatima managed to escape and finally got a divorce in February 2013, three years after Equality Now, a human rights' group, took up her case.
But Fatima's story is not a rule but an exception in a kingdom. It's not an uncommon practice to here girls, who have not yet hit their teens to forced to marry men in their 70s and 80s.
Sheikh Abdul-Aziz Al Sheikh, the grand mufti, considers girls ready for marriage from the age of 10 or 12. This he said at the faculty of Imam Mohamed bin Saud Islamic University in Riyadh in 2012:
“Those who call for raising the age of marriage to 25 are absolutely mistaken,” he added. “Our mothers and grandmothers got married when they were barely 12. Good upbringing makes a girl ready to perform all marital duties at that age.”
Today, Saudi Arabia faces immense pressure to raise the age for marriage as more and more cases of children forced into wedlock with older men have been reported in the media. Early marriages lead to an abrupt initiation to into sexual relationships, impact their right to education. Studies by UNICEF show domestic violence to be common in child marriages. 
In April 2013, the Saudi ministry of justice confirmed new regulations where 16 will be set as a minimum age for marriage of girls. While this provides some hope for women it is hardly the first time that such announcements have been made. A similar announcement was made in 2009 as well. Moreover, the 2013 draft has several loopholes -- there's provision which allows the father to override the law under certain circumstances. Since it is the fathers who  "sell" their daughters to wealthy men for a huge dowry, even if the law comes into force it will be redundant. 

There must be four witnesses to act of rape


Rape laws
In 2007, a Saudi court sentenced a gang-rape victim to six months imprisonment and 200 lashes. Initially, she had been sentenced to 90 lashes for being in a car of a man who was not a relative and flouting the rigid laws on segregation of sexes.Saudi Arabia, where girls are married off in their pre-teens and covered from head to toe, is among the countries in the world with the highest rape cases. This can be blamed for the insufficient rape laws in the country.

Though Saudi's legal code is based on the Sharia law, which criminalises rape as punishment,spousal rape is not considered an offence. The anti-rape laws are flawed and the actual conviction process is impossible. In order for an accused to be convicted either he has to confess or there must be four witnesses to the act. 
Foreign female domestic workers, which comprise of 1.5 million of foreign nationals, receive no protection from labour laws, and hence are the most exploited. Moreover, women enjoy no rights in courts. They are not allowed to speak for themselves and must be represented by a male relative or a lawyer.
And to add to this is the taboo against reporting rape. Often, the woman are accused to having an illicit relationship while the man is not questioned at all about the crime. A woman, who has faced such abuse, is often deemed unfit for marriage or is violently punished for bringing shame to the family. 
The chances of justice for a rape victim is almost zilch. 

Purpose of educating is to be a successful housewife, mother


Education
In 2011, Swsan Ali El Demini, an ambitious 18-year-old wanted to pursue her study in the United States. Her father, considered to be her male guardian, backed her. But she was unable to apply. As per the Saudi ministry of higher education a male guardian is expected to accompany any girl who studies abroad on government scholarship. While both her parents were willing to accompany her, Swsan's father was barred from leaving the country and her mother was not considered a guardian, according to equalitynow.org. 
In Saudi Arabia's sex segregated education system, the facilities available to women are inferior and more limited compared to the boys. According to the Saudi official policy, the purpose of educating a girl is to bring her up in a proper Islamic way so as to perform her duty in life, be an ideal and successful housewife and a good mother, ready to do things which suit her nature such as teaching, nursing and medical treatment.
To study overseas on government scholarship the permission of the male guardian is required and the student is regularly monitored by a cultural attache. The guardian has the authority to stop a girl from pursuing her studies and the girl needs his permission to choose a field of study.
There are several restrictions imposed on women -- they are not allowed to leave the premises of an educational institution even in case of an illness without a male guardian. Reports suggest that in many institutions female teachers and students are locked in during teaching hours.

The curricula and field of study are also restricted with no university programmes for women in engineering, architecture or political science. Even their access to libraries is restricted.
In what is being look at as a small step towards female education, Saudi Arabia's first female only vocational institute will be opening this September. However, the college offers education in subjects that have been specifically chosen to allow females to work from home such as business administration, fashion and jewellery design and beauty.

Gender segregation prevents employers from hiring women


Employment:

Manar Saud graduated last May from a university in Winchester with a master’s degree in organsational leadership, paid for by a Saudi government scholarship. But six months after hunting for a job she was unemployed, according to a Washington Post report.
While the Saudi government spends billions on education its women, but the conservative society is still not open to women at workplaces. 
The figures alone tell the story.
Around 57 per cent of Saudi women have university degrees.
78 per cent of female university graduates and 60 per cent with Phd degrees are unemployed.

Job prospects are complicated. Segregated since puberty, Saudis find it difficult to strike a conversation with the member of the opposite sex, making an interview awkward. Many employers still use the excuse that society is strictly gender segregated as a reason not to employ women.

As a result, Saudi women though more educated than men (Some 59,948 women received post-secondary degrees in 2009 compared with 55,842 men, according to the education ministry.) are a wasted source.

Only country in the world that bans women drivers


Ban on driving
In 2008, Wajeha al-Huwaider, became a worldwide name, when she filmed herself driving a car and posted the clip on YouTube on International Women’s Day. Al-Huwaider’s act was considered that of civil disobedience in the only nation in the world, which bans women from driving. 
Five years on, little has changed. Saudi women still depend on private drivers or male guardians to move around in the country.
There are no written laws that restrict women from driving. The prohibition is rooted in conservative traditions that giving freedom of movement to women would make them vulnerable to sins.

Generally, police stop female drivers, question them and let them go after they sign a pledge not to drive again. However, there have been cases where a woman has been sentenced (lashed) for breaking the law. Interference from King Abdullah saved her from the lashing.
In April, Saudi Arabia lifted a ban on women cycling and riding motorbikes. However, women are still prohibited from using bikes as a mode of transport, can use them in designated recreational areas but only if accompanied by a male.

Women are banned from playing sports, gymming


Ban on sports

Two female athletes were allowed to compete in last summer's Olympics only after intense pressure from the International Olympics Committee to end Saudi Arabia’s practice of sending only male teams to the games. Their participation was NOT shown on Saudi TV stations.
Saudi girls are banned from playing sports in schools and are denied access to sports facilities, including gyms and swimming pools.

Princess Nora Bint Abdul Rahman Unviersity, the largest female university, has a swimming pool, tennis court and exercise area for its students. No other university in Saudi Arabia has sport facilities for its female students and staff, reports The Gaurdian.

Female athletes cannot register for sport clubs or competitions. They are banned from entering national trials, which makes it impossible for them to qualify for international competitions.
In May 2013, private schools were allowed to hold sports activities for its female students. But they have to adhere to a strict dress code and sharia law.

Few rights that women can now enjoy...


Since the Arab Spring, King Abdullah has adopted a reformist stance, especially with regards to women’s rights.    
He granted women the right to vote and run in the 2015 municipal elections.
In January, he appointed the first female members to the Consultative Council, naming 30 women to the 150-member advisory body.
In 2009, he opened the first-ever fully integrated coed university and appointed the country’s first female minister -- Nora bint Abdullah al-Fayez, a US-educated former teacher was made the deputy education minister.

Women can now work in lingerie and makeup stores, as supermarket cashiers and as quality managers at factories. Saudi Arabia now allows its women to work in restaurants in special sections, independent from areas where men work.
These changes though significant leave women in Saudi Arabia decades behind other countries. They have a long way to go.


FROM- REDIFFMAIL

Thursday, August 8, 2013

10 Dumb Lies Women Tell Men ---

Men and women only really "communicate" in the movies. Especially in terrible Meg Ryan chick flicks, where all the men are sensitive and all the women have pouty lips. In Hollywood's fantasy-lands men and women sit down, stare into each others eyes and tell it like it is.

In reality, both genders generally just lie to one another. Usually, honesty is the best policy, but sometimes a lie is just a heavily-sedated, declawed truth. Lying can be a great way for couples to bury issues, foster resentment and add to the cloud of general misunderstanding that hovers between them! The problem here is that women are just so much better at it than men. Maybe it's because women are smarter than men, or maybe it's because men just have problems with words.

Are you a man who thinks you've been lied to? Are you a woman looking for a new lie to tell your man? The truth is out— here's a list of 10 dumb lies women tell their men to avoid having to actually tell them what's up.



Lie #1: "Nothing's wrong."


The truth: Seriously? Of course something is wrong. Isn't there always something wrong? If it isn't his mangled toenail clippings smattering the bathroom floor, it's his lack of empathy for the women on Army Wives. Sure, it's sweet that a woman is willing to take it all in stride, but that's only if stride doesn't mean a death stare and a three-week dry spell.



Lie #2: "Size doesn't matter."


The truth: If McDonald's two-story cheeseburgers and keg-sized sodas at the gas station can tell us anything about American culture, it's that we like things big. Women are no exception, despite what they claim their thoughts are on the size subject. Guys, don't get it twisted — a woman will tell you anything to stroke your ego (instead of, well…), but the truth is, she loves you anyway, small peen and all.



Lie #3: "I'm cool with you going to a strip club."


The truth: Men, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. This is actually a brilliant subterfuge passed down by great women since Helen of Troy. The woman gives the man just enough room to do something completely ridiculous and then uses her subsequent rage run amok for months, without repercussions. Are you really surprised we thought of this? I mean, if you weren't with us for our quick wits, you'd obviously be dating a stripper.



Lie #4: "You're the best I've ever been with."



The truth: Didn't your mother ever tell you she loved you more than your sister? Sure, she probably didn't really mean it, unless your sister was one of those out of control teens on Sally Jesse Raphael. It's the same with woman and sex. The better you feel about your performance, the more likely you'll be able to actually perform.



Lie #5: "It's okay you forgot."


The truth: Its okay you forgot. A man forgetting important events is like a terrorist attack on a woman's heart. Though she may move on, she'll have to bear the scars of that fateful day forever. And while there's always a subtle, disembodied fear that it could happen again, she likes to hope everyone has learned an important lesson from the grave tragedy she's had to endure.



Lie #6: "I don't usually do this."



The truth: Like the pathetic excuses of a hog-tied chap on Cheaters, women like to act like every one-night stand or risqué sexual practice is a brand new thing for them. Don't believe them - they're actually that slutty. But so what, don't men secretly like that anyway?



Lie #7: "I wouldn't change anything about you."

This is only true when a woman is in love, which lasts about a week. But believe me, after that she starts keeping a dossier of blueprints in her mind, constantly re-sketching better and more appropriate versions of you from her reflections on Marie Claire articles and pictures of underwear models.



Lie #8: "I love your friends."

The truth: Women like those piggish apes as much as men like their girlfriend's pudgy, Camry-driving maid's of honor. Enough said.



Lie #9: "I never think about my ex."


The truth: If your boss asks you if you're happy your new job, of course you're going to say yes. Same is true in relationships. After all, no one wants to make things awkward at the coffee machine.



Lie #10: "You're right."


The truth: You're not. You never are and you never will be. If there's one feeling men and women share about each other, it's this. And it's the fact that all relationships, nay, all gender communication turns on. Only thing I can say is…get used to it or get a good lawyer.



By- YAHOO

Friday, June 7, 2013

Tanha hoon...

Tanha hoon,
Udaas hoon,
Akela bhi hoon,
Manzil ka bhi kuch pata nhi,
Yun to chala bhi hoon akela kafi door tak,
Par ab thak chuka hoon chalte chalte,

Rahen sari anjani si kyn hai,
Har raha begani si kyn hai,
Chala jis raha par bhi,
Na thair mila na thikana mila,
Manzil ka kuch bhi thikan na mila,

Koshishen raang kyn nhi la pati hai,
Har baar kyn dhul jati hai ye,
Jaise dhul jate hai sagar ke kinare,
Har ek lehar ke baad,
Waise he ye kyn dhul jati hai,

Jaanta hoon ki abhi chalna bahut hai akela he,
Phir bhi na jane kyn ab ruk jane ko maan karta hai,
Karta hai maan ab thair jane ko,
Phir kabhi na jaagne ko,
Khamosh ho jana chahata hoon ab,

Darta to nhi hoon nakamiyon se,
Par na jaane kyn ab thak chuka hoon,
Guzarish hai us khuda se,
Ki ab or na satye mujhko,
Ya to MANZIL ka pata de mujhko,
Ya MANZIL ko pahucha de mujh tak,

Tanha hoon,
Udaas hoon,
Akela bhi hoon,

Written By- Akshay Bhardwaj
Written Date- June 7, 2013
Posted Date- June 7, 2013
Copyright @Akshay Bhardwaj

Monday, June 3, 2013

Ho Raha Bharat Nirman...???

Ho rha Bharat Nirman.....!!!

Bhooka hai aadmi,
Nanga hai tan uska,
Or ho rha hai Bharat Niman...

Kamane ke liye job hai nhi,
Sar dhakne keep liye chaat hai nhi,
Or ho rha Bharat Nirman...

Dari Hui hai aadhi aabadi,
Loot rhi hai betiyan,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nirman...

Ro rha hai khoon ke aansu insaan,
Or poochne wala koi nhi,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nirman...

Seek rhi hai rotiyan,

In netaon ki humare khoon-paseene ki kamayi se,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nrman...

Ye kaisi sarkar,
Jo karti nhi kuch kaam,
Sivaye chori, dakaiti, loot-khasoot, balatkaar or bhrastachar ke,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nirman...

Ho rha hai Bharat niran kahi agr to
Wo hai bhirastchaar, loot-khasoot, chori, dakaiti or balatkaar me...

Ye kaisa Bharat nirman???
Mera Bharat mahaan,
Ho rha hai Bharat nirman

Written by- Akshay Bhardwaj
Written date- June 3, 2013
Posted date- June 3, 2013
Copyright @Akshay Bhardwaj

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Siksha ka Adhikaar


Abhi haal he me humari nikammi sarkar ne ek kanoon lago kiya hai jo ki siksha ka adhikaar naam se jana ja rha hai. Agar dekha jaye to ye kanoon har bachche ko padne ka adhikaar deta hai jo ki ek achchi baat hai kynki aaj ke hisaab se har ek insaan chahen wo bada ho ya chota ko padne ka haq hai or siksha par sirf aamir he haq kyn rakhe gareeb ko bhi haq mila chahiyen. Jab tak sab pad likh nahi paayenge Bharat aage nahi bad he paayega. Bharat ki tarrakki apni janta ko pada likha ke he ho paayegi.

Lekin baat sirf pada likha dene tak he seemit nahi hai kynki jis tarah se humare yaha padai hoti hai uske hisaab se to main to ye kahunga ki pad likh lene ke baad bhi chotu chai ki dukaan par, hotel par, dhabon par jaroor dikhega. Kynki humari education hume pet bharana nahi sikha paati. Ye to chotuon ki baat thi but ye baat un par bhi theek hai jo aaj apni graduation or post graduation ki degree le kar JOB pane ke liye mare-mare phir rahe hai. Huamari nikammi sarkar padne ke liye to bola rahi hai, lekin usne is baat ka koi bhi intzaam nahi kiya ki jab hum pad likh kar bhaar aaye tab humari roji roti ka intzaam kaha se hoga???

Jis sarkar ko chalane wale he nikamme, kamchor or anpad chala rahe ho to phir unke duara banaye gaye kanoon bhi unki soch jaise he honge. Aap khud soch ke dekhiye jis ghar me kamane wala he mar gaya ho or kamane ki jimmebari un masoomon ke haath me aa jaye tab aap kaha se use padne ke pryrit kar paayenge jab ki unke pass apne pet ko bharne ka bhi koi zariya nahi rahega or bhooke pet to bhajan bhi nahi hota to padai kaha se??? Or aaj ke Bharat ki position dekh ke to wo panda to soch he nhi sakte kynki jis desh me aap har pal janata ki jeb par daka dalte rehte ho us desh ko pada likh to kabhi nahi paaoge.
Main ye to nahi kahunga ki main is kanoon ka virodhi hoon ya virodh kar raha hoon but jab tak aap public ke liye unki basic need ko poora nahi kar paayenge tab tak aapke duara  banaye gaye sare kanoon bekaar he rahenge. So mera to ye he kehana hai ki pehele aap JOB ki guarantee de, salary bhi badayen jaise baki cheezon ke rate aapne badye hai usi hissab se salary bhi de, sabko rojgaar mile, koi bhi bhookha na so paaye, tab aap success ho paayenge or tab chotu cahi ki dukaan par nahi school me dikhega.

Akshay Bhardwaj
April 3, 2013

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Girls have fun, Boys have none

This is the 24079th column being written on this subject. 
And I’m still determined to flog the dead horse because no matter how much our society evolves, somehow the punch never goes out of a guy vs gal debate. No? The seed of this week’s column is a Facebook message from a reader, 
Aseem, who recalled an example of how differently we react to the two genders.
It says that a boy once put up a Facebook status that said, “Going to commit suicide”.
He got 0 likes (thank God!), and 1 comment from a friend that said, “Bike kiske paas rahegi?”
On the contrary, when a girl posted: ‘Got a new dress, loving it’, 100 people liked it and she got another 100 comments, that too mostly from guys.
‘Does it reflect the desperation of Gen-X?’ asks Aseem. 
Well, desperation ka toh pata nahi, but, exaggerated as anecdotes may be, I confess it does reflect a little bit of reality.
Why, why, why do girls have it so easy in life… is a question every guy asks, though I suspect they anyway have their own theory for an answer. And although it would seem that girls would take offence to this hypothesis, I was pretty surprised to see that six out of  eight female colleagues who I discussed this topic with, tend to agree that girls indeed have an advantage.
Of course, I must make it clear that I’m not talking about serious issues related to gender discrimination. Because sadly, in parts of our country, being able to be born as a girl itself involves a struggle, right from the foetal stage.
I’m instead referring to day-to-day situations in an equal-opportunity urban setting. In the space and times that we live in, most parents spend as much time, attention and money in raising a girl as they do, on a guy.
There’s equal competition at school, for college admissions, for jobs, for promotions and so on. And then comes an evening when there’s a mad rush for tickets to a new blockbuster in the theatre.
While the guy, waiting in a long queue, curses everyone in sight, the girl breezes past, straight to the counter. Of course, it’s another thing that had there been a single queue, some lechers would have got busier in ogling than bothering about the tickets. But not every guy is like that and it’s not his fault that some are.
Anyhow, you get the point, don’t you?
Guys feel that girls are cake-walking through life.
To understand it better, I asked some of my male cousins and friends to elaborate on what frustrates them the most. 19-year-old Reliance (not his real name, he just suffers from too much gas!) said girls don’t have to struggle at all, in life.
“They just have to sit there, look pretty and wait for some guy to wander along and spend all his hard earned money on them,” he said. I slapped him. Horribly sexist, wasn’t that?
Then came 22-year old Tush (Yeah, I know. Sorry that I have people with such names in my life. That explains all the weirdness!), who gave these three gems.
1  Less expectations: ‘Although girls claim to be equal to guys in all respects, there are certain things that they are just not expected to even attempt,’ says Tush.
He recalled an incident when he had to go to a friend’s birthday party and was waiting for his sister, who had taken the car, to get back. She called to say that the car had a flat tyre, and that she’s standing on the roadside not sure what to do.
‘Change the damn tyre,’ I wanted to say but I knew she wouldn’t bother, because she’s never expected to,” he says.
Eventually, he had to go, change the tyre, fetch the car… and his sister, thus missing the party.
‘And still when we entered home, mom fussed all over my sister because she had such a hard time,’ he cries.
2   They know when to play the feminine card:  ‘The same girls who are forever ready to pick up the morcha for equal rights don’t blink an eyelid before entering the pink coach (reserved for women) on the Metro, with a look that says they own the bloody train,’ says Reliance.
I didn’t slap him for this one. It’s true that girls enjoy the benefits of reservation.
Sometimes it seems justified, sometimes it doesn’t. 
When it comes to arguing with parents over going out with friends, they are equal to guys.
When it suits them to cry ‘cramps’ and wriggle out of a tricky presentation in college, they are not. Point toh hai.
3 And of course, as Tush points out, girls have the most potent, invincible, unconquerable, trump card of all — tears.
It works — in all situations, at all times.
For whatever complexes of their own, guys can’t use this weapon.
In fact, the poor guys are not allowed to get senti at all. Girls have all the right to hold each others’ hands and chirpily skip around. If a girl hugs her girlfriend and says I love you, we go all awww.
A guy tries it, and we all secretly look for opportunities to call his dad and say he’s gay. And this, when he may anyway under be tremendous stress to flaunt a girlfriend. Tsk tsk.
Poor XY chromosomes. By now I’m sure some enraged girls would’ve already begun making hate groups on Facebook, targetting me. But wait yaar, the heat will be on the guys next week, if I get responses from girls countering today’s piece.
Bring it on, Venus. Sonal Kalra suddenly feels she’s thinking like a guy.
Oh sisters of the world, drag her back to the reality of your life!
By- Sonal Kalra (HT Media)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Ek Ladki...


Ek ladki...

Anjaani si, Nadaan si,
Jiski nadaan si hasi pe tum muskurate ho,
Jiski nadaan si baaten tumko pyaari lagti hai,
Jsiki aankhon me hai anekon khwab,
Jo chahati hai khule aasmaan me udna,
Udne do use khule aasmaan me...

Udne do use,
Kyn bandhte ho pankh uske,
Nadaan ho tum, ki rok loge use,
Agar kiya zor-o-zulam us par,
Wo phir bhi ud jayegi todke sare bandhan,
Laga ke maut ko gale wo ud jayegi,
Jaise ud jata hai parinda qaid se...

Pachtaoge tum phir jab kuch na milega tumko,
Rooge tum uski nadaan hasi ko sunne ke liye,
Uski us masoom se chehare ko dekhne ke liye,
Uski un massom shararton ko dekhne ke liye,
Uske un masoom sawalon ko sunne ke liye,
Taras jaoge tum... taras jaoge tum,
Udne do use udne do use...


BY- Akshay Bhardwaj
Copyright- @akshay bhardwaj
Written Date- March 13, 2013
Posted Date- March 13, 2013