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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Tribute... Was in tears reading this...

Maa bohot Dard sah kar..
bohot dard de kar..
tujhse kuch kah kar main jaa rahi hun........

Aaj meri vidai main jab Sakhiyaan milne aayengi...
Safai­d Jode main lipti dekh sisak sisak mar jayengi...
Ladki­ hone ka khud pe fr wo Afsos jatayengi.....

M­aa tu unse itna kah dena Darindo k duniya main Sambhal kar rahna..........­.....
Maa Rakhi par jb Bhaiya Kalai suni rah jayegi..
yaad mujhe kar kar jab unki Aankh bhar ayegi....
Tilak mathe par karne ko Maa rooh meri bhi Machal jayegi...
Maa tu bhaiya ko rone na dena...
Main sath hu har Pal unse kah dena.......­.....

Maa Papa bhi chhup chhup bohot royenge...
main kuch na kar paya ye kah k khud ko kosenge....
Maa dard unhe ye hone na dena..
Ilzaam koi lene na dena...
Wo Abhimaan hai mera samman hai mera..
tu unse itna kah dena........

Maa­ tere liye ab kya kahu..
dard ko tere shabdon main kaise bandhu...
fir se jeene ka moka kaise maangu......

Maa­ log tujhe satayenge....
mu­jhe azaadi dene ka tujhpe ilzaam lagayenge....
Ma­a sab sah lena par ye na kahna
"Agle janam Mohe Bitiya na dena"

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Dammit, The World Didn't End

 wish it did, before six beasts mauled a young girl and left her to die. I’ve always stayed away from writing this column on newsy topics. But today, you are likely to find this to be one among the many write ups on this same subject in the newspapers. And
maybe I’ll have nothing new to say that you haven’t already heard or read. Let me still say it, please. Because today I realise how utterly foolish and far away from reality it has been, to be talking about ‘calmness’, week after week, when we live in a society where so-called human beings exhibit animal-like behaviour at will. No, in fact, let me apologise to the animals for making this statement, because even they are known to have traces of compassion and kindness. The six men who gang raped and then savagely tortured a 23-year-old girl in a moving bus in our nation’s proud Capital last Sunday, before stripping her and her friend and throwing them on the road to die, don’t even deserve to be called animals.
While this incident has shocked and numbed practically everyone to the core, we also have to face the trauma of being informed that a majority of the men who committed the horrific act are not remorseful of what they did. And that there are  some in our country who, in the name of ‘human rights’,  are still saying that the rapists shouldn’t be given death penalty because it is wrong to take away a human life as punishment. But I thought these men had made it pretty clear last Sunday itself that there’s nothing remotely human about them. So, what rights are we talking about? 
While everyone is sad and angry about this incident and the state of women-safety in India in general, I’m also immensely sad at us having gradually turned into a suspicious, untrusting society. A male friend of mine loves kids more than anyone I’ve known. And he has this habit of making funny faces at stranger kids in elevators, making them giggle. Sometimes he would ask a cute kid to tell his or her name or pass a compliment on their dress, and the child would lighten up at the attention. Yesterday, his cheerful greeting of “Hello, little girl” to a five-year-old on the escalator of a shopping mall resulted in the girl’s mom creating a scene. Not only did she shout at my friend, but she also then screamed at her daughter saying, “Did I not tell you not to talk to any uncle or a boy? Boys are bad. They will take you away and hurt you!”
I just feel helpless at what we’ve become. Let me say it upfront. In my humble opinion, death penalty is nothing in front of the punishment that ought to be meted to the people whose acts have instilled a permanent fear of the male gender in the minds of our young generation of girls. Human rights activists can go take a hike for all I care. No, wait. Maybe I’m being inhuman now. Let’s give them jail term, and not hang them. As long as they are gang raped every night that they spend in the prison. Now that’s only fair, we can’t risk them coming out of jail some years later with pent-up sexual frustration. And see, we are not even taking their precious human life away. Right?
Sorry for sounding so cynical, but here’s just a list of things I’ve begun to hate ever since the Delhi gang rape incident acted as a tipping point, and plunged us to new, disgusting depths.
1 I hate it that while someone’s cherished daughter battles unthinkable physical pain lying on a hospital bed, some people in endless debates on TV channels have had the audacity to question whether a girl should have boarded a bus with dark windows and men in it, at night, in a city like Delhi. ‘We are being practical’, they say. Wouldn’t it be more practical and foolproof then, to make a rule that forbids men to venture out of homes after dark? Or better yet, just like we are so fond of telling our girls that they must take a brother or a cousin along for safety when they go out, let’s make it compulsory for all guys to always have a woman escort them when they leave homes after dark . Trust me, it’ll help the cops achieve a zero percent crime rate, both against men and women.
2 I hate the stigma attached to rape cases that’s so engrained in our psyche, that when this young girl got the first opportunity to interact with her mother, she scribbled on a piece of paper that her close friends be told that she’s gone out of town for some work.  Till the day we are able to give confidence to our daughters that our reaction to an assault on their sexual organs will be the same as that on any other part of their body, we’ll have to live with our heads bowed in shame.
3 I hate it when the laws of our democracy do precious little for the victim, but safeguard the ‘rights’ of the criminals to refuse identification parades or cover their faces while being taken into custody. I know that there are legal reasons and rules behind this, but then rules are made by human beings. Why can’t such criminals, who have even confessed to the heinous crime, be paraded in public so that they can sense the hatred in the eyes of people around them.  Rights ought to be for those who’ve done anything to deserve them, don’t you think?
4 I hate it when the desperate cries for action result in knee-jerk steps by the authorities, such as removing the dark film from all vehicle windows or shutting down all pubs in the city by 1 am. Why, that’s as illogical as suggesting that let us shut down the banks two hours early everyday as that might prevent robberies. A person who is sick enough in the head to commit rape will not hesitate because suddenly his car doesn’t have tinted glasses. He will hesitate if he knows that he’ll be thrashed in full public view if he does it. Why can’t we get that!
Mayans predicted that the world will end on December 21st this year. Well it didn’t, for most of us. For the girl who may not be able to eat through her mouth all her life even if she survives, it may just have. But her courage and the will to live despite all odds seem to have taken her straight into a new world, where the nightmare she went through has probably resulted in waking up millions of sleeping Indians. Maybe in this new world, my friend will be able to smile at a young girl without the fear of being misunderstood. Just maybe. 
Sonal Kalra feels ashamed when educated people blame clothes, culture or conduct for rape, when it is nothing but the urge to exercise control and power.


BY- Sonal Kalra (HT)

A wounded nation seeks answers

Some crimes are too gory to even imagine - like the one the national capital woke up to on Monday.

If movements have triggers, the gang rape of a girl in a moving bus - an unnamed 23-year-old who battles against the odds to live - has become a symbol of crimes against women in the country and has forced a pained and anguished nation to seek answers.
In the midst of widespread expressions of anger on the streets, a number of ugly realities - brushed under the carpet for too long - are, for perhaps the first time, being openly discussed.
Law and order, judicial reforms, punishments meted out to offenders and patriarchal Indian mindsets are being addressed in the public domain.http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/Popup/2012/12/23-12-12-pg-12b.jpg
But despite the heated exchanges between citizen and state, between political parties, between friends and colleagues or in the home, there is no doubt that now is the time to act. India has had enough.
1. WHY do rapes happen? And why do groups of men attack a woman?
According to psychologists, gang rape is a manifestation of certain psychodynamics in a patriarchal society - factors such as false appraisal of masculinity, peer approval, boredom, joblessness combined together can lead to such sort of psychopathic gang behaviour.
Police records make no any distinction between rape and gang-rape, so no official stats are available. Gang rape is seen as a part of "negative group dynamics".
Sociologist, Shiv Viswanathan, calling this phenomenon an urban malaise, says, "Gang rape, not terrorism, is the ultimate terror in metros."
Viswanathan explains, "Usually gang rapists belong to two sects of society - either rich or powerful or the poor and unemployed. And it's in the big cities that the divide between both builds misplaced anger." -Zofeen Maqsood
2. WHY has it come to this? And is the problem even bigger than we know of? According to statistics, in 2002, New York City reported 1,468 cases of rape, London reported 2,731 cases, Delhi had 383 reported cases of rape this year. This, however, may be misleading as a large number of cases in India go unreported.
A patriarchal culture where "a woman is seen as a source who can bring potential shame to the family," is responsible, says Nirmala Venkatesh, former member of National Commission of Women.
"It is because of this fear that many women chose to bear the trauma silently," she adds.
Lawyer Pinky Anand however points out that social stigma is global.
According to Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, in US 54% of sexual assaults are not reported to police and about 97% of rapists never spend a day in jail.
Anand says, "Add to it delayed trials, hostile witnesses and justice is often delayed or denied.''
Experts also feel the apathy shown at various levels in society that further discourage a girl from gaining the courage to report. - ZM
3. WHY are people feeling so helpless and angry, even though it's 'yet another case'?
While doctors wage a war to save the 23-year-old victim, the incident has triggered mass protests across the nation.
"This violent incident is being viewed as a result of the state's complete indifference toward its citizens. The widespread protests could be an attempt to activate the state from its moral lethargy," says Radhika Chopra, a DU professor of sociology.
The girl, who was brutally battered by six men, had to be put on ventilator and doctors were forced to remove almost her entire intestines.
"A couple brutally assaulted at a decent evening hour and in the heart of the city forced people to speak up," says Anand Kumar, sociology professor at, JNU.
"It has crossed a threshold. This has shaken the conscience of the country," says Dr Sandeep Vohra, psychiatrist at Apollo hospital. - FS
4. WHY even lowly criminals and murderers look down on the rape accused?
Mukesh Singh, 30, among the accused men arrested for the gangrape, was greeted with expletives and jeering by jail inmates on Wednesday. (5 other accused are in a police lockup and yet to be sent to the jail by a court).
Singh could even get assaulted physically by co-inmates.
"A rape accused is ostracized, not given work or position of responsibility by co-inmates or even jail authorities," says retired IPS officer BK Gupta, former Delhi police commissioner.
Singh is among 1,200 other rape accused and convicts in Tihar, who constitute up to 10 per cent of Tihar's population of 12,000.
"A rapist is deemed filthy and at the bottom of the pile as per this hierarchy as he's seen to have targeted a vulnerable girl, part of somebody's family," said the source, adding: "Even a murderer cares about his family." Rape accused fear co-inmates in the US and some European countries too. Jails there segregate them. - Abhishek Sharan
5. IS the incident our Sandy Hook in terms of the shockwaves? And how do we explain it?
When a gunman walked into the Sandy Hook elementary school in the US earlier this month and shot 22 children dead, it shocked the entire world and led to the US rethinking their gun laws.
The Delhi gang-rape has been as shocking. Besides the anger and helplessness, the gory nature of the crime makes it difficult to explain to children.
"How will you explain it to kids when even adults find it difficult to hear about this heinous crime? The only way is not to go into the gory details but to give a good sense of the crime and its consequences," says Dr Samir Parikh, psychiatrist, Fortis Healthcare.
"Schools can be helpful in communicating such issues to children. You need to allow a child to vent out his feelings," adds Dr Parikh. - Furquan Siddiqui
6. WHY were male politicians silent, leaving women MPs to make emotional speeches?
While the country argued over issues raised - who should take responsibility? Why was security so lax? - Male MPs were relatively mum on the issue, leaving the female MPs to make emotional speeches.
But this, says Rajya Sabha MP Mani Shankar Aiyar, is not reflective of "any lack of concern on the part of the male MPs."
He says: "Especially on an issue like this, it's more appropriate that instead of me, Renuka Chaudhury should speak."
But Kamal Mitra Chenoy, professor of political theory at JNU, says: "It's a patriarchal thing," and he adds "On women's issues, men MPs can be extremely ill-mannered. In fact, few MPs have spoken about it even on TV." - Samar Khurshid
7. WHY is a woman's voice - and her vote - not being heard in the country? http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/Popup/2012/12/23-12-12-pg-12c.jpg
In elections, appeals are often made to caste/religion vote banks but gender issues are not prominent. Kamal Mitra Chenoy, professor of political theory at JNU, says the reason is that patriarchy and masculinity are very strong.
"The perception of traditional gender roles still exists. Women are seen as commodities, not independent thinkers."
Sociologist Amit Sharma says: "Even though there has been a demographic change in women, men do not see them as equal."
Kavita Krishnan, Secretary AIPWA, says, "No dominant political party is willing to challenge patriarchal attitudes." - SK
8. WHY was there such lax security to begin with?
While Police has come under criticism, there has been talk of forces been underemployed. With shortage of staff, the police move from one crisis to another.
The plan to deploy men at the bus stop started last year, but it stopped midway and only after the gangrape, the police decided to conduct a fresh survey. There is also a staff necessity. If there are ten personnel at a station, eight would be present in the day. This means only two are available for night duty.
The night staff too patrol only till 2am. This is why there is hardly any police presence after midnight. Authorities have pledged to change this. - Faizan Haider
http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/Popup/2012/12/23-12-12-pg-12e.jpg

By- Hindustan Times