ये मेरी देह है तुम्हारी मिल्कियत नहीं...

याद है पिछले साल दिसंबर की 16 तारीख. मैं लंदन में थी. खबरें आ रही थीं दिल्ली की सड़कों पर बढ़ती भीड़ की, हवा में तनती मुट्ठियों की और विरोध की तेज़ और तीखी होती आवाज़ की.

दिल्ली बलात्कार घटना एक ऐसी घटना थी जो भूलने की आसान सी आदत डाले इस समाज पर हथौड़े बरसा रही थी. ये घटना अख़बारों के फुटनोट में आकर गुम होने वाली घटना नहीं रही.

इन्हीं कहानियों की तलाश में मेरी मुलाकात रेशमा से हुई. फोन पर रेशमा की आवाज सुनकर अंदाज़ा नहीं हुआ था कि उनमें 15 सालों से चली आ रही अपनी खामोशी को तोड़ने की हिम्मत होगी.एक साल बाद क्या बदला है इसी का जायज़ा लेने की मंशा से बीबीसी हिंदी अगले एक सप्ताह तक उन कहानियों और मुद्दों को आप तक लाएगा जो औरतों के संघर्ष और उससे इतर उनके सफ़र की कहानी है.

घर का पता पूछने पर वो फोन किसी और को थमा देती हैं. ड्योढ़ी से बाहर की जिंदगी का अंदाज़ा तक नहीं है उन्हें. कानपुर के एक छोटे कमरे के घर में वो अभी अपने मां-बाप और छोटी बहन के साथ हैं.

रेशमा 30 साल की हैं और पांच लड़कियों की मां. छठा बच्चा अभी गर्भ में पल रहा है.

वो जानलेवा हमला

एक कमरे में बिस्तर पर लेटी लंबी सी रेशमा सलवार कमीज में हैं, रुक-रुक कर बोलती हैं. उठकर बैठ नहीं सकतीं देर तक. क्यों पूछने पर जवाबों का सिलसिला शुरू होता है.

पंद्रह साल पहले उनकी शादी हुई. शादी के बाद से ही प्रताड़ना का दौर भी शुरू हो गया. रेशमा कहती हैं कि उनके पति अच्छा कमाते हैं लेकिन उन्हें घर चलाने के लिए कभी उतने पैसे नहीं मिले कि वे अपनी पांच बच्चियों का पेट अच्छी तरह भर सकें. उनकी ज़रूरतों को पूरा करने के लिए रेशमा ने सिलाई का काम शुरू किया.

हर रोज़ छोटी-मोटी बातों पर पिटना, ज़लील होना उसके लिए रोज़मर्रा की बात हो गई थी.

दुपट्टे के कोर से आंखों को पोंछती रेशमा कहती हैं, "जब छठी बार मैं गर्भवती हुई तो पति ने कहा उन्हें अब और बेटी नहीं चाहिए. इसीलिए अल्ट्रासाउंड करवाओ. अगर लड़की है तो गर्भपात करवाना होगा."

क्लिक करेंरेशमा कहती हैं कि उन्हें ये बिल्कुल मंज़ूर नहीं था. जहां पांच पली हैं एक और पल जाएगी.

बहुत सह लिया

पर उनका मना करना उनके पति को गवारा नहीं हुआ.

रेशमा बताती हैं कि झगड़े के बाद उनके पति ने तेज़ाब की बोतल उनकी योनि की तरफ निशाना बनाकर फेंकी. अगले चार दिनों तक उनका इलाज तक नहीं किया गया. वे बेसुध बिस्तर पर पड़ी रहीं. मायके से जब पिता आए तब अस्पताल में भर्ती कराया गया.

अब तक की चार दीवारों में कैद ज़िदंगी और अपने सारे फ़ैसले कभी खुद न लेने के डर ने भी उन्हें पीछे हटने पर मजबूर नहीं किया.

पुलिस में मामला दर्ज हुआ और उनके पति अब जेल में हैं, हालांकि वे इन आरोपों को नहीं मानते.

चुप्पी तोड़ी

रेशमा कहती हैं कि दिल्ली की घटना के बाद वे औरतों के चेहरे ज़्यादा पढ़ने लगी हैं. उन्हें लगता है कि हर चेहरे पर यातना से जुड़ी एक कहानी की लकीर साफ़ दिखती है.

“अब बहुत जुल्म हो गया. अब औरतों को चुप नहीं रहना चाहिए. क्या हम शौहर के लिए केवल सामान हैं कि जब जी चाहा आए इस्तेमाल किया और जब जी चाहा मरने के लिए छोड़ दिया." रेशमा फूलती सांस में अपनी बात पूरी करती हैं.

अपनी पांच बच्चियों के भविष्य के लिए वो चिंतित नहीं हैं. मुझे नहीं मालूम कि इस हिम्मत की क्या वजह हो सकती है. खुद बुरी तरह अस्वस्थ, तेज़ाब का घाव भरा नहीं है, पेट में एक और बच्चा है, मां बाप बेहद ग़रीब हैं और अब इस भार से थोड़ा उकता भी चुके हैं.

क्लिक करेंलेकिन रेशमा बस बार-बार यही कहती रही, ''उस नरक से तो कोई भी जगह अच्छी है. हाथ-पांव अच्छे हो जाए तो खुद कमा लूंगी."

मुझे एक मामूली सी दिखने वाली रेशमा की हिम्मत को देखकर अचरज हो रहा था. क्या यह एक बदलाव की बानगी है?

बाक़ी है उम्मीद

आख़िर महिलाओं के ख़िलाफ़ हिंसा की रिपोर्ट करवाने के लिए महिलाएं आगे नहीं आती हैं. यह एक आम राय है लेकिन पिछले एक साल के आंकड़ों को देखें तो तस्वीर बदली हुई नज़र आती है.

दिल्ली पुलिस के आंकड़ों के हिसाब से इस साल के अगस्त महीने तक पिछले साल से दोगुना बलात्कार के मामले दर्ज हुए हैं. झारखंड जैसे राज्य में भी इस साल में ऐसी ही बढ़त दिखी है.

महिला अधिकारों के लिए काम कर रहे कार्यकर्ताओं का मानना है कि यौन हिंसा के आसपास सधी चुप्पी की टूटने की ख़बर आती सी दिखती है. यही तो बदलाव की पहली शर्त है. आगे रास्ता तो तय हो ही जाएगा.

कानपुर से लौटते हुए रेशमा की बात मेरे मन में कौंधती रही.

उन्होंने कहा था, "बोलना ज़रूरी है. कई बच्चियों की जान इससे बच सकती है. मरना तो एक दिन है ही फिर तिल-तिल कर क्यों मरें?"

From BBC Hindi.

Four myths about healthy sex busted

Most of the couples have no idea that their sex lives are in better shape than they think-even with the occasional off-night or dry spell.

Dr. Jennifer Berman, the director of the Berman Women’s Wellness Center and the author of ‘For Women Only’ has busted the top four top myths that couples shouldn’t buy into.

The first myth is that both need to be in the mood. The fact is that it is normal for sex to be a little ho-hum for one or both spouses up to 15 per cent of the time, Fox News reported.

Many factors can throw things a bit off-kilter: timing, your mood or the partner’s, the amount of foreplay, life stresses, you name it but rather than postponing it, have sex when you can-and don’t interpret an off night as a sign of a failing relationship.

Second myth is that the best sex is spontaneous, expecting sex to just happen at the spur-of-the-moment can lead to long dry spells, whereas writing it in on the calendar is a show of commitment; plus, it gives the couple something to anticipate.

Third myth is that a couple should have sex three times a week. Having sex regularly nourishes a relationship, but couple shouldn’t get too caught up in the counting, as most happy couples don’t have sex every day or even two or three times a week.

Fourth myth is that good sex is long and slow but few people can afford the luxury of leisurely sex, in fact most of the people secretly think it sounds like more work after an exhausting day and holding out for the ideal moment can lead to infrequent or worse, vacation-only sex.

From- MSN Lifestyle 

Five things that can ruin a first date.

Been a while since you ventured into the big bad world of dating? We tell you how to avoid a nightmare. 

THAT UNCOMFORTABLE DRESS: You might be going on a date after years, but that too-tight, uncomfy dress will not make your case stronger. There’s nothing wrong in flaunting your hot figure, but don’t overdress on your first outing. Be yourself and keep that septum piercings intact and don’t hide the tattoo — they define you perfectly. 

YOUR FARMHOUSE IN THE HILLS: We understand that your daddy might have a sprawling place in the hills, but this is not the right time to talk about it. Your date loves nothing more than your self-made credentials, so rather than listing out your royal ancestry, focus on you. Of course, too much self talk can be annoying, so keep it balanced. 

IOS 7 AND ITS AWESOMENESS: Your iPhone might be the hottest property in town, but please stop obsessing over that new operating system. Gadget talk might be sexy for some, but how many times have you had this conversation with ALL your friends? 

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY: First date after a long relationship? Make sure you don’t say out aloud whatever is going on in your head. And under no circumstances should you discuss the context of your breakup. Before you kick off with “she was so clingy,” and “I think he had a thing for his colleague,” and end with “but first love is always special,” — please stop. 

LISTEN TO THE BEATLES: Listen to The Beatles as they tell you to just let it be! You don’t need conversation start cards or hours of pre-planning — just go with the flow.

From- Hindustan Times

Some people just WON’T GROW UP!

If I could catch hold of the word ‘cute’, I would beat it up with a hammer.

When it comes to weird people, there are several varieties in this world. But talk about so-weird-they-make-you-feel-like-jumping-in-front-of-a-train, and the list may not be that long. Prominent in that list of mine are childish adults. Childish to the point of exhibiting an

Sonal Kalra gives you tips to calm down in her weekly column 'A Calmer You.'

unrecognised trait of dementia, which, I’m certain, will some day make it to the list of medically untreatable imbecilities.

The reference to the train is because I happened to see one such CA (childish adult; No, the chartered accountants can’t sue me, they are all busy filing some return of the dragon or something), when I happened to travel by the Delhi metro recently. There was a guy in the compartment, with his CA girlfriend who was driving him, and everyone else, nuts with her kiddy-talk. ‘No, no, no.. I told you I want to travel in the pink coach. Pink is so cute,’ the 20-something-girl said, stomping her foot thrice. My eyes widened at this unabashed display of utter horror. ‘But pink coach is only for women. We’ll have to travel in different coaches,’ reasoned her boyfriend. ‘Toh? Mein tele chhe phone pe baat talungi nah,’ (So? I will talk to you on the phone) she replied, actually mimicking a 2-year-old’s voice, complete with a hand gesture of talking on phone.

I glared at her boyfriend with a look that screamed ‘Slap her, slap her right now.’ But the poor thing looked as helpless as everyone around them were amused. And then, as their destination was about to arrive, this girl suddenly crossed her arms, refused to get down, and with a fake-pout, declared ‘you don’t love me’ to the hapless guy. I swear I involuntarily moved an inch and a half towards her, contemplating where to dispose off the body if I kill her. But then visions of Sridevi in Sadma and the possibility of the drama queen actually suffering from some disorder stopped me. But I still feel all that she was challenged of was sensible, mature behaviour. Anyway, itni lambi kahaani ka point is that some people forget that they are supposed to grow up with their age, and turn into the highly irritating breed of CAs. Here’s how to recognise them

1. Tantrum throwers: A behavioural trait that should have ended when they were five continues even when they are 45 - throwing tantrums when things don’t happen the way they want. Even at workplace, you may have seen calm, rational looking adults sometimes act very juvenile in situations. Much like a toddler refusing to eat green vegetables, they would refuse to see logic in an argument and won’t budge from their position.

The same could happen if you are in a relationship with a CA. Your partner would suddenly sulk for days, without telling you the reason, or behave in a really immature way when something upsets him or her. The best way to deal with tantrum throwers is actually to not deal with them at all. If you pay attention to a tantrum, it only grows. Leave them to sort it out and make it clear that you will entertain only rational behaviour.

2. Cutie pies: If I could catch hold of the word ‘cute’, I would beat it up with a hammer. Such a misused expression, I tell you. Because most CAs of the world try and get away with obnoxious behaviour hiding under this one expression. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t endorse people who are gloomy and serious all the time in the name of acting mature. To a certain extent, it’s very important to bring out the child in you. But if that child refuses to go back, then my dear, you have problem.

I know of a girl nearing 30 who speaks, dresses and behaves like a 6-year-old a majority of the time. Maybe when she initiated this behaviour, someone called her ‘cute’. Her computer’s wallpaper has two furry ‘cute’ cats, her T-shirts have cute puppies on them and her wallet has poor Snow White dangling from the chain. Anyway, all that is her personal choice. But the trouble is that she brings this inner child to work with her. And  doesn’t even realise that she may be a subject of mockery because of this. My advice: curb the cute, bring out the sensible — most of the times. If you manage to do that and the cute comes out only occasionally, people would genuinely find you endearing, rather than going all ‘awww, how chweet’ on your face and throwing up when you turn around.

3. Cry-babies: These people may not actually cry, but their behaviour sure makes others feel like it. I know this guy who has whined close to 98% of his living time on this planet. Always cribbing, always complaining. He must be in his 30s but does the noble task of reminding me of all the small children of this world, the moment he opens his mouth. Right from the weather being too hot to the girlfriend not being hot enough, his life seems like a big mess. Well, it’s actually not. To anyone else, he’s had it going pretty good and life’s treated him with kid-gloves. Kid-gloves? Oh damn, that may have been the problem. 

Net, net, here’s the deal for all the CAs out there. Life’s not to be taken too seriously, but neither so non-seriously that you make a joke of yourself. All the baby-talk, pouting, sulking will work only when done in moderation, and maybe in private. But beyond a point, it’s not funny. It’s rather icky to people who have managed to keep pace with their calendar age. Knock it off!

Sonal Kalra wants to apologise to the kids of this world because some adults have encroached their territory. What? We are forgiven? Awww… how cute. 

By- Sonal Karla
Hindustan Times

7 SHOCKING laws that haunt women in Saudi Arabia

In a historic move last week, Saudi Arabia passed a legal ban on domestic violence and other form of abuse against women. The law is the first of its kind in a nation that has been dubbed as one of the worst places for women to live.

But will a Saudi Arabian woman report abuse by her male guardian? The domestic violence legislation is just a baby step towards emancipation in a country that considers girls “ready for marriage at 10", and where rape laws are a matter of ridicule. 

No access to basic rights like healthcare without male guardian

Male guardianship

Fatima A, a 40-plus woman living in Riyadh, cannot board a plane without a written permission from her son.  

In conservative Saudi Arabia, a woman's life is not her own; she is nothing but a legal minor.

Every woman in Saudi Arabia must have a male guardian. Till she ties the knot, the guardianship is the job of the father, but even uncles, brothers and sons can assume the role of a guardian.

As per this tradition, Saudi women need a go ahead from the guardian to study, work, travel and marry. That's not all. They need the permission of the guardian to access certain types of healthcare, thus increasing their dependency on their male counterparts. 

A woman's access to justice is also restricted for she cannot file a case or even be heard in court without a legal guardian. And often, it is the male guardian who is abusive.

These discriminatory practices keep women away from their basic rights, giving them no authority over their own lives.

Fathers 'sell' teenage girls to men in their 70s, 80s

Child marriage

Twelve-year-old Fatima's father sold her for marriage to a 50-year-old man who already had a wife and 10 children. Fatima managed to escape and finally got a divorce in February 2013, three years after Equality Now, a human rights' group, took up her case.

But Fatima's story is not a rule but an exception in a kingdom. It's not an uncommon practice to here girls, who have not yet hit their teens to forced to marry men in their 70s and 80s.

Sheikh Abdul-Aziz Al Sheikh, the grand mufti, considers girls ready for marriage from the age of 10 or 12. This he said at the faculty of Imam Mohamed bin Saud Islamic University in Riyadh in 2012:

“Those who call for raising the age of marriage to 25 are absolutely mistaken,” he added. “Our mothers and grandmothers got married when they were barely 12. Good upbringing makes a girl ready to perform all marital duties at that age.”

Today, Saudi Arabia faces immense pressure to raise the age for marriage as more and more cases of children forced into wedlock with older men have been reported in the media. Early marriages lead to an abrupt initiation to into sexual relationships, impact their right to education. Studies by UNICEF show domestic violence to be common in child marriages. 

In April 2013, the Saudi ministry of justice confirmed new regulations where 16 will be set as a minimum age for marriage of girls. While this provides some hope for women it is hardly the first time that such announcements have been made. A similar announcement was made in 2009 as well. Moreover, the 2013 draft has several loopholes -- there's provision which allows the father to override the law under certain circumstances. Since it is the fathers who  "sell" their daughters to wealthy men for a huge dowry, even if the law comes into force it will be redundant. 

There must be four witnesses to act of rape

Rape laws

In 2007, a Saudi court sentenced a gang-rape victim to six months imprisonment and 200 lashes. Initially, she had been sentenced to 90 lashes for being in a car of a man who was not a relative and flouting the rigid laws on segregation of sexes.Saudi Arabia, where girls are married off in their pre-teens and covered from head to toe, is among the countries in the world with the highest rape cases. This can be blamed for the insufficient rape laws in the country.

Though Saudi's legal code is based on the Sharia law, which criminalises rape as punishment,spousal rape is not considered an offence. The anti-rape laws are flawed and the actual conviction process is impossible. In order for an accused to be convicted either he has to confess or there must be four witnesses to the act. 

Foreign female domestic workers, which comprise of 1.5 million of foreign nationals, receive no protection from labour laws, and hence are the most exploited. Moreover, women enjoy no rights in courts. They are not allowed to speak for themselves and must be represented by a male relative or a lawyer.

And to add to this is the taboo against reporting rape. Often, the woman are accused to having an illicit relationship while the man is not questioned at all about the crime. A woman, who has faced such abuse, is often deemed unfit for marriage or is violently punished for bringing shame to the family. 

The chances of justice for a rape victim is almost zilch. 

Purpose of educating is to be a successful housewife, mother

Education

In 2011, Swsan Ali El Demini, an ambitious 18-year-old wanted to pursue her study in the United States. Her father, considered to be her male guardian, backed her. But she was unable to apply. As per the Saudi ministry of higher education a male guardian is expected to accompany any girl who studies abroad on government scholarship. While both her parents were willing to accompany her, Swsan's father was barred from leaving the country and her mother was not considered a guardian, according to equalitynow.org. 

In Saudi Arabia's sex segregated education system, the facilities available to women are inferior and more limited compared to the boys. According to the Saudi official policy, the purpose of educating a girl is to bring her up in a proper Islamic way so as to perform her duty in life, be an ideal and successful housewife and a good mother, ready to do things which suit her nature such as teaching, nursing and medical treatment.

To study overseas on government scholarship the permission of the male guardian is required and the student is regularly monitored by a cultural attache. The guardian has the authority to stop a girl from pursuing her studies and the girl needs his permission to choose a field of study.

There are several restrictions imposed on women -- they are not allowed to leave the premises of an educational institution even in case of an illness without a male guardian. Reports suggest that in many institutions female teachers and students are locked in during teaching hours.

The curricula and field of study are also restricted with no university programmes for women in engineering, architecture or political science. Even their access to libraries is restricted.

In what is being look at as a small step towards female education, Saudi Arabia's first female only vocational institute will be opening this September. However, the college offers education in subjects that have been specifically chosen to allow females to work from home such as business administration, fashion and jewellery design and beauty.

Gender segregation prevents employers from hiring women

Employment:

Manar Saud graduated last May from a university in Winchester with a master’s degree in organsational leadership, paid for by a Saudi government scholarship. But six months after hunting for a job she was unemployed, according to a Washington Post report.

While the Saudi government spends billions on education its women, but the conservative society is still not open to women at workplaces. 

The figures alone tell the story.

Around 57 per cent of Saudi women have university degrees.

78 per cent of female university graduates and 60 per cent with Phd degrees are unemployed.

Job prospects are complicated. Segregated since puberty, Saudis find it difficult to strike a conversation with the member of the opposite sex, making an interview awkward. Many employers still use the excuse that society is strictly gender segregated as a reason not to employ women.

As a result, Saudi women though more educated than men (Some 59,948 women received post-secondary degrees in 2009 compared with 55,842 men, according to the education ministry.) are a wasted source.

Only country in the world that bans women drivers

Ban on driving

In 2008, Wajeha al-Huwaider, became a worldwide name, when she filmed herself driving a car and posted the clip on YouTube on International Women’s Day. Al-Huwaider’s act was considered that of civil disobedience in the only nation in the world, which bans women from driving. 

Five years on, little has changed. Saudi women still depend on private drivers or male guardians to move around in the country.

There are no written laws that restrict women from driving. The prohibition is rooted in conservative traditions that giving freedom of movement to women would make them vulnerable to sins.

Generally, police stop female drivers, question them and let them go after they sign a pledge not to drive again. However, there have been cases where a woman has been sentenced (lashed) for breaking the law. Interference from King Abdullah saved her from the lashing.

In April, Saudi Arabia lifted a ban on women cycling and riding motorbikes. However, women are still prohibited from using bikes as a mode of transport, can use them in designated recreational areas but only if accompanied by a male.

Women are banned from playing sports, gymming

Ban on sports

Two female athletes were allowed to compete in last summer's Olympics only after intense pressure from the International Olympics Committee to end Saudi Arabia’s practice of sending only male teams to the games. Their participation was NOT shown on Saudi TV stations.

Saudi girls are banned from playing sports in schools and are denied access to sports facilities, including gyms and swimming pools.

Princess Nora Bint Abdul Rahman Unviersity, the largest female university, has a swimming pool, tennis court and exercise area for its students. No other university in Saudi Arabia has sport facilities for its female students and staff, reports The Gaurdian.

Female athletes cannot register for sport clubs or competitions. They are banned from entering national trials, which makes it impossible for them to qualify for international competitions.

In May 2013, private schools were allowed to hold sports activities for its female students. But they have to adhere to a strict dress code and sharia law.

Few rights that women can now enjoy...

Since the Arab Spring, King Abdullah has adopted a reformist stance, especially with regards to women’s rights.    

He granted women the right to vote and run in the 2015 municipal elections.

In January, he appointed the first female members to the Consultative Council, naming 30 women to the 150-member advisory body.

In 2009, he opened the first-ever fully integrated coed university and appointed the country’s first female minister -- Nora bint Abdullah al-Fayez, a US-educated former teacher was made the deputy education minister.

Women can now work in lingerie and makeup stores, as supermarket cashiers and as quality managers at factories. Saudi Arabia now allows its women to work in restaurants in special sections, independent from areas where men work.

These changes though significant leave women in Saudi Arabia decades behind other countries. They have a long way to go.


FROM- REDIFFMAIL

10 Dumb Lies Women Tell Men ---

Men and women only really "communicate" in the movies. Especially in terrible Meg Ryan chick flicks, where all the men are sensitive and all the women have pouty lips. In Hollywood's fantasy-lands men and women sit down, stare into each others eyes and tell it like it is.

In reality, both genders generally just lie to one another. Usually, honesty is the best policy, but sometimes a lie is just a heavily-sedated, declawed truth. Lying can be a great way for couples to bury issues, foster resentment and add to the cloud of general misunderstanding that hovers between them! The problem here is that women are just so much better at it than men. Maybe it's because women are smarter than men, or maybe it's because men just have problems with words.

Are you a man who thinks you've been lied to? Are you a woman looking for a new lie to tell your man? The truth is out— here's a list of 10 dumb lies women tell their men to avoid having to actually tell them what's up.



Lie #1: "Nothing's wrong."


The truth: Seriously? Of course something is wrong. Isn't there always something wrong? If it isn't his mangled toenail clippings smattering the bathroom floor, it's his lack of empathy for the women on Army Wives. Sure, it's sweet that a woman is willing to take it all in stride, but that's only if stride doesn't mean a death stare and a three-week dry spell.



Lie #2: "Size doesn't matter."


The truth: If McDonald's two-story cheeseburgers and keg-sized sodas at the gas station can tell us anything about American culture, it's that we like things big. Women are no exception, despite what they claim their thoughts are on the size subject. Guys, don't get it twisted — a woman will tell you anything to stroke your ego (instead of, well…), but the truth is, she loves you anyway, small peen and all.



Lie #3: "I'm cool with you going to a strip club."


The truth: Men, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. This is actually a brilliant subterfuge passed down by great women since Helen of Troy. The woman gives the man just enough room to do something completely ridiculous and then uses her subsequent rage run amok for months, without repercussions. Are you really surprised we thought of this? I mean, if you weren't with us for our quick wits, you'd obviously be dating a stripper.



Lie #4: "You're the best I've ever been with."



The truth: Didn't your mother ever tell you she loved you more than your sister? Sure, she probably didn't really mean it, unless your sister was one of those out of control teens on Sally Jesse Raphael. It's the same with woman and sex. The better you feel about your performance, the more likely you'll be able to actually perform.



Lie #5: "It's okay you forgot."


The truth: Its okay you forgot. A man forgetting important events is like a terrorist attack on a woman's heart. Though she may move on, she'll have to bear the scars of that fateful day forever. And while there's always a subtle, disembodied fear that it could happen again, she likes to hope everyone has learned an important lesson from the grave tragedy she's had to endure.



Lie #6: "I don't usually do this."



The truth: Like the pathetic excuses of a hog-tied chap on Cheaters, women like to act like every one-night stand or risqué sexual practice is a brand new thing for them. Don't believe them - they're actually that slutty. But so what, don't men secretly like that anyway?



Lie #7: "I wouldn't change anything about you."

This is only true when a woman is in love, which lasts about a week. But believe me, after that she starts keeping a dossier of blueprints in her mind, constantly re-sketching better and more appropriate versions of you from her reflections on Marie Claire articles and pictures of underwear models.



Lie #8: "I love your friends."

The truth: Women like those piggish apes as much as men like their girlfriend's pudgy, Camry-driving maid's of honor. Enough said.



Lie #9: "I never think about my ex."


The truth: If your boss asks you if you're happy your new job, of course you're going to say yes. Same is true in relationships. After all, no one wants to make things awkward at the coffee machine.



Lie #10: "You're right."


The truth: You're not. You never are and you never will be. If there's one feeling men and women share about each other, it's this. And it's the fact that all relationships, nay, all gender communication turns on. Only thing I can say is…get used to it or get a good lawyer.



By- YAHOO

Tanha hoon...

Tanha hoon,
Udaas hoon,
Akela bhi hoon,
Manzil ka bhi kuch pata nhi,
Yun to chala bhi hoon akela kafi door tak,
Par ab thak chuka hoon chalte chalte,

Rahen sari anjani si kyn hai,
Har raha begani si kyn hai,
Chala jis raha par bhi,
Na thair mila na thikana mila,
Manzil ka kuch bhi thikan na mila,

Koshishen raang kyn nhi la pati hai,
Har baar kyn dhul jati hai ye,
Jaise dhul jate hai sagar ke kinare,
Har ek lehar ke baad,
Waise he ye kyn dhul jati hai,

Jaanta hoon ki abhi chalna bahut hai akela he,
Phir bhi na jane kyn ab ruk jane ko maan karta hai,
Karta hai maan ab thair jane ko,
Phir kabhi na jaagne ko,
Khamosh ho jana chahata hoon ab,

Darta to nhi hoon nakamiyon se,
Par na jaane kyn ab thak chuka hoon,
Guzarish hai us khuda se,
Ki ab or na satye mujhko,
Ya to MANZIL ka pata de mujhko,
Ya MANZIL ko pahucha de mujh tak,

Tanha hoon,
Udaas hoon,
Akela bhi hoon,

Written By- Akshay Bhardwaj
Written Date- June 7, 2013
Posted Date- June 7, 2013
Copyright @Akshay Bhardwaj

Ho Raha Bharat Nirman...???

Ho rha Bharat Nirman.....!!!

Bhooka hai aadmi,
Nanga hai tan uska,
Or ho rha hai Bharat Niman...

Kamane ke liye job hai nhi,
Sar dhakne keep liye chaat hai nhi,
Or ho rha Bharat Nirman...

Dari Hui hai aadhi aabadi,
Loot rhi hai betiyan,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nirman...

Ro rha hai khoon ke aansu insaan,
Or poochne wala koi nhi,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nirman...

Seek rhi hai rotiyan,
In netaon ki humare khoon-paseene ki kamayi se,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nrman...

Ye kaisi sarkar,
Jo karti nhi kuch kaam,
Sivaye chori, dakaiti, loot-khasoot, balatkaar or bhrastachar ke,
Or ho rha hai Bharat nirman...

Ho rha hai Bharat niran kahi agr to
Wo hai bhirastchaar, loot-khasoot, chori, dakaiti or balatkaar me...

Ye kaisa Bharat nirman???
Mera Bharat mahaan,
Ho rha hai Bharat nirman

Written by- Akshay Bhardwaj
Written date- June 3, 2013
Posted date- June 3, 2013
Copyright @Akshay Bhardwaj

Siksha ka Adhikaar

Abhi haal he me humari nikammi sarkar ne ek kanoon lago kiya hai jo ki siksha ka adhikaar naam se jana ja rha hai. Agar dekha jaye to ye kanoon har bachche ko padne ka adhikaar deta hai jo ki ek achchi baat hai kynki aaj ke hisaab se har ek insaan chahen wo bada ho ya chota ko padne ka haq hai or siksha par sirf aamir he haq kyn rakhe gareeb ko bhi haq mila chahiyen. Jab tak sab pad likh nahi paayenge Bharat aage nahi bad he paayega. Bharat ki tarrakki apni janta ko pada likha ke he ho paayegi.

Lekin baat sirf pada likha dene tak he seemit nahi hai kynki jis tarah se humare yaha padai hoti hai uske hisaab se to main to ye kahunga ki pad likh lene ke baad bhi chotu chai ki dukaan par, hotel par, dhabon par jaroor dikhega. Kynki humari education hume pet bharana nahi sikha paati. Ye to chotuon ki baat thi but ye baat un par bhi theek hai jo aaj apni graduation or post graduation ki degree le kar JOB pane ke liye mare-mare phir rahe hai. Huamari nikammi sarkar padne ke liye to bola rahi hai, lekin usne is baat ka koi bhi intzaam nahi kiya ki jab hum pad likh kar bhaar aaye tab humari roji roti ka intzaam kaha se hoga???

Jis sarkar ko chalane wale he nikamme, kamchor or anpad chala rahe ho to phir unke duara banaye gaye kanoon bhi unki soch jaise he honge. Aap khud soch ke dekhiye jis ghar me kamane wala he mar gaya ho or kamane ki jimmebari un masoomon ke haath me aa jaye tab aap kaha se use padne ke pryrit kar paayenge jab ki unke pass apne pet ko bharne ka bhi koi zariya nahi rahega or bhooke pet to bhajan bhi nahi hota to padai kaha se??? Or aaj ke Bharat ki position dekh ke to wo panda to soch he nhi sakte kynki jis desh me aap har pal janata ki jeb par daka dalte rehte ho us desh ko pada likh to kabhi nahi paaoge.

Main ye to nahi kahunga ki main is kanoon ka virodhi hoon ya virodh kar raha hoon but jab tak aap public ke liye unki basic need ko poora nahi kar paayenge tab tak aapke duara  banaye gaye sare kanoon bekaar he rahenge. So mera to ye he kehana hai ki pehele aap JOB ki guarantee de, salary bhi badayen jaise baki cheezon ke rate aapne badye hai usi hissab se salary bhi de, sabko rojgaar mile, koi bhi bhookha na so paaye, tab aap success ho paayenge or tab chotu cahi ki dukaan par nahi school me dikhega.

Akshay Bhardwaj

April 3, 2013

Girls have fun, Boys have none

This is the 24079th column being written on this subject. 
And I’m still determined to flog the dead horse because no matter how much our society evolves, somehow the punch never goes out of a guy vs gal debate. No? The seed of this week’s column is a Facebook message from a reader, 

Aseem, who recalled an example of how differently we react to the two genders.

It says that a boy once put up a Facebook status that said, “Going to commit suicide”.

He got 0 likes (thank God!), and 1 comment from a friend that said, “Bike kiske paas rahegi?”

On the contrary, when a girl posted: ‘Got a new dress, loving it’, 100 people liked it and she got another 100 comments, that too mostly from guys.

‘Does it reflect the desperation of Gen-X?’ asks Aseem. 

Well, desperation ka toh pata nahi, but, exaggerated as anecdotes may be, I confess it does reflect a little bit of reality.

Why, why, why do girls have it so easy in life… is a question every guy asks, though I suspect they anyway have their own theory for an answer. And although it would seem that girls would take offence to this hypothesis, I was pretty surprised to see that six out of  eight female colleagues who I discussed this topic with, tend to agree that girls indeed have an advantage.

Of course, I must make it clear that I’m not talking about serious issues related to gender discrimination. Because sadly, in parts of our country, being able to be born as a girl itself involves a struggle, right from the foetal stage.

I’m instead referring to day-to-day situations in an equal-opportunity urban setting. In the space and times that we live in, most parents spend as much time, attention and money in raising a girl as they do, on a guy.

There’s equal competition at school, for college admissions, for jobs, for promotions and so on. And then comes an evening when there’s a mad rush for tickets to a new blockbuster in the theatre.

While the guy, waiting in a long queue, curses everyone in sight, the girl breezes past, straight to the counter. Of course, it’s another thing that had there been a single queue, some lechers would have got busier in ogling than bothering about the tickets. But not every guy is like that and it’s not his fault that some are.

Anyhow, you get the point, don’t you?

Guys feel that girls are cake-walking through life.

To understand it better, I asked some of my male cousins and friends to elaborate on what frustrates them the most. 19-year-old Reliance (not his real name, he just suffers from too much gas!) said girls don’t have to struggle at all, in life.

“They just have to sit there, look pretty and wait for some guy to wander along and spend all his hard earned money on them,” he said. I slapped him. Horribly sexist, wasn’t that?

Then came 22-year old Tush (Yeah, I know. Sorry that I have people with such names in my life. That explains all the weirdness!), who gave these three gems.

1  Less expectations: ‘Although girls claim to be equal to guys in all respects, there are certain things that they are just not expected to even attempt,’ says Tush.

He recalled an incident when he had to go to a friend’s birthday party and was waiting for his sister, who had taken the car, to get back. She called to say that the car had a flat tyre, and that she’s standing on the roadside not sure what to do.

‘Change the damn tyre,’ I wanted to say but I knew she wouldn’t bother, because she’s never expected to,” he says.

Eventually, he had to go, change the tyre, fetch the car… and his sister, thus missing the party.

‘And still when we entered home, mom fussed all over my sister because she had such a hard time,’ he cries.

2   They know when to play the feminine card:  ‘The same girls who are forever ready to pick up the morcha for equal rights don’t blink an eyelid before entering the pink coach (reserved for women) on the Metro, with a look that says they own the bloody train,’ says Reliance.

I didn’t slap him for this one. It’s true that girls enjoy the benefits of reservation.

Sometimes it seems justified, sometimes it doesn’t. 

When it comes to arguing with parents over going out with friends, they are equal to guys.

When it suits them to cry ‘cramps’ and wriggle out of a tricky presentation in college, they are not. Point toh hai.

3 And of course, as Tush points out, girls have the most potent, invincible, unconquerable, trump card of all — tears.

It works — in all situations, at all times.

For whatever complexes of their own, guys can’t use this weapon.

In fact, the poor guys are not allowed to get senti at all. Girls have all the right to hold each others’ hands and chirpily skip around. If a girl hugs her girlfriend and says I love you, we go all awww.

A guy tries it, and we all secretly look for opportunities to call his dad and say he’s gay. And this, when he may anyway under be tremendous stress to flaunt a girlfriend. Tsk tsk.

Poor XY chromosomes. By now I’m sure some enraged girls would’ve already begun making hate groups on Facebook, targetting me. But wait yaar, the heat will be on the guys next week, if I get responses from girls countering today’s piece.

Bring it on, Venus. Sonal Kalra suddenly feels she’s thinking like a guy.

Oh sisters of the world, drag her back to the reality of your life!

By- Sonal Kalra (HT Media)

Ek Ladki...

Ek ladki...

Anjaani si, Nadaan si,
Jiski nadaan si hasi pe tum muskurate ho,
Jiski nadaan si baaten tumko pyaari lagti hai,
Jsiki aankhon me hai anekon khwab,
Jo chahati hai khule aasmaan me udna,
Udne do use khule aasmaan me...

Udne do use,
Kyn bandhte ho pankh uske,
Nadaan ho tum, ki rok loge use,
Agar kiya zor-o-zulam us par,
Wo phir bhi ud jayegi todke sare bandhan,
Laga ke maut ko gale wo ud jayegi,
Jaise ud jata hai parinda qaid se...

Pachtaoge tum phir jab kuch na milega tumko,
Rooge tum uski nadaan hasi ko sunne ke liye,
Uski us masoom se chehare ko dekhne ke liye,
Uski un massom shararton ko dekhne ke liye,
Uske un masoom sawalon ko sunne ke liye,
Taras jaoge tum... taras jaoge tum,
Udne do use udne do use...


BY- Akshay Bhardwaj
Copyright- @akshay bhardwaj
Written Date- March 13, 2013
Posted Date- March 13, 2013

STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH !!! Interesting !!

STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH !!!! Interesting !!

Hey this is really true and see it will work for you too

If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1....

If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2...

If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3...

If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4...

If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5...

If U were born on the 6th, 15th, 24th of any month then U r number 6...

If U were born on the 7th, 16th, 25th of any month then U r number 7...

If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8...

If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...

Number 1

You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities,Famous

person...always want to be and regarded as first on people position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under others, self confident

people!
You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite

views
And you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.

If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the

heart of the parliament because you are positive and well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work

hard to bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some people too...

Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner & wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original...

Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!

Number 2

No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot,

you have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to

time and circumstances, kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.

Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does

peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).

If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your words

are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge you can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business

people!

You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole family. If U r

a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of

Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!

Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!

Number 3

You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems within

your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything.. You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always

you have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order to achieve something.. You will not get anything without hard

work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than

them. You do set so many examples to others.

Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitude then here you

go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.

Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. you will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too

much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will

spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will
be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always

follow.

You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition

focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!!

Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!

Number 4

You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots

of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a

girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too

much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don't

know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!!

Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls.. You always fall in love

in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example you have got a degree in some thing... but you will be unemployed.. or will

do very ordinary jobs.

But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your

relations too..

You are radical, patient, persistent,a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order...

Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!

Number 5

You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are

often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks "lets do this". You will be

famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families

will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u

get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for

other relationships! Contacts even you are married at times 'coz your popularity..

You are someone who get along with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are an explorer with magic

on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!!

Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!

Number 6

Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very

good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls

and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for

love.

You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than

few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family &

friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness

with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this

world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...

Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5 !!!

Number 7

You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts,

singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.

You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a

guy you are popular with girls, you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.

Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime.

It's probably the Lord given you all sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready

looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue,
ok?

You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!!

Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!

Number 8

You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say "this is

what".
You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good you might lose either of your parent and end up looking

after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.

The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may

die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others.

Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected problems

such as : the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents.

You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a

fighter!

Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!

Number 9

Hey...you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work hard

and hard to get there. Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what

you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and

successfully finish the matter off.

You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life

time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.

Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.

Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.

Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.

You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.

You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.

PS-JUZ BELIEVE IN U... TAKE THIS AS FUN