Tribute... Was in tears reading this...

Maa bohot Dard sah kar..
bohot dard de kar..
tujhse kuch kah kar main jaa rahi hun........

Aaj meri vidai main jab Sakhiyaan milne aayengi...
Safai­d Jode main lipti dekh sisak sisak mar jayengi...
Ladki­ hone ka khud pe fr wo Afsos jatayengi.....

M­aa tu unse itna kah dena Darindo k duniya main Sambhal kar rahna..........­.....
Maa Rakhi par jb Bhaiya Kalai suni rah jayegi..
yaad mujhe kar kar jab unki Aankh bhar ayegi....
Tilak mathe par karne ko Maa rooh meri bhi Machal jayegi...
Maa tu bhaiya ko rone na dena...
Main sath hu har Pal unse kah dena.......­.....

Maa Papa bhi chhup chhup bohot royenge...
main kuch na kar paya ye kah k khud ko kosenge....
Maa dard unhe ye hone na dena..
Ilzaam koi lene na dena...
Wo Abhimaan hai mera samman hai mera..
tu unse itna kah dena........

Maa­ tere liye ab kya kahu..
dard ko tere shabdon main kaise bandhu...
fir se jeene ka moka kaise maangu......

Maa­ log tujhe satayenge....
mu­jhe azaadi dene ka tujhpe ilzaam lagayenge....
Ma­a sab sah lena par ye na kahna
"Agle janam Mohe Bitiya na dena"

Dammit, The World Didn't End

 wish it did, before six beasts mauled a young girl and left her to die. I’ve always stayed away from writing this column on newsy topics. But today, you are likely to find this to be one among the many write ups on this same subject in the newspapers. And

maybe I’ll have nothing new to say that you haven’t already heard or read. Let me still say it, please. Because today I realise how utterly foolish and far away from reality it has been, to be talking about ‘calmness’, week after week, when we live in a society where so-called human beings exhibit animal-like behaviour at will. No, in fact, let me apologise to the animals for making this statement, because even they are known to have traces of compassion and kindness. The six men who gang raped and then savagely tortured a 23-year-old girl in a moving bus in our nation’s proud Capital last Sunday, before stripping her and her friend and throwing them on the road to die, don’t even deserve to be called animals.

While this incident has shocked and numbed practically everyone to the core, we also have to face the trauma of being informed that a majority of the men who committed the horrific act are not remorseful of what they did. And that there are  some in our country who, in the name of ‘human rights’,  are still saying that the rapists shouldn’t be given death penalty because it is wrong to take away a human life as punishment. But I thought these men had made it pretty clear last Sunday itself that there’s nothing remotely human about them. So, what rights are we talking about? 

While everyone is sad and angry about this incident and the state of women-safety in India in general, I’m also immensely sad at us having gradually turned into a suspicious, untrusting society. A male friend of mine loves kids more than anyone I’ve known. And he has this habit of making funny faces at stranger kids in elevators, making them giggle. Sometimes he would ask a cute kid to tell his or her name or pass a compliment on their dress, and the child would lighten up at the attention. Yesterday, his cheerful greeting of “Hello, little girl” to a five-year-old on the escalator of a shopping mall resulted in the girl’s mom creating a scene. Not only did she shout at my friend, but she also then screamed at her daughter saying, “Did I not tell you not to talk to any uncle or a boy? Boys are bad. They will take you away and hurt you!”

I just feel helpless at what we’ve become. Let me say it upfront. In my humble opinion, death penalty is nothing in front of the punishment that ought to be meted to the people whose acts have instilled a permanent fear of the male gender in the minds of our young generation of girls. Human rights activists can go take a hike for all I care. No, wait. Maybe I’m being inhuman now. Let’s give them jail term, and not hang them. As long as they are gang raped every night that they spend in the prison. Now that’s only fair, we can’t risk them coming out of jail some years later with pent-up sexual frustration. And see, we are not even taking their precious human life away. Right?

Sorry for sounding so cynical, but here’s just a list of things I’ve begun to hate ever since the Delhi gang rape incident acted as a tipping point, and plunged us to new, disgusting depths.

1 I hate it that while someone’s cherished daughter battles unthinkable physical pain lying on a hospital bed, some people in endless debates on TV channels have had the audacity to question whether a girl should have boarded a bus with dark windows and men in it, at night, in a city like Delhi. ‘We are being practical’, they say. Wouldn’t it be more practical and foolproof then, to make a rule that forbids men to venture out of homes after dark? Or better yet, just like we are so fond of telling our girls that they must take a brother or a cousin along for safety when they go out, let’s make it compulsory for all guys to always have a woman escort them when they leave homes after dark . Trust me, it’ll help the cops achieve a zero percent crime rate, both against men and women.

2 I hate the stigma attached to rape cases that’s so engrained in our psyche, that when this young girl got the first opportunity to interact with her mother, she scribbled on a piece of paper that her close friends be told that she’s gone out of town for some work.  Till the day we are able to give confidence to our daughters that our reaction to an assault on their sexual organs will be the same as that on any other part of their body, we’ll have to live with our heads bowed in shame.

3 I hate it when the laws of our democracy do precious little for the victim, but safeguard the ‘rights’ of the criminals to refuse identification parades or cover their faces while being taken into custody. I know that there are legal reasons and rules behind this, but then rules are made by human beings. Why can’t such criminals, who have even confessed to the heinous crime, be paraded in public so that they can sense the hatred in the eyes of people around them.  Rights ought to be for those who’ve done anything to deserve them, don’t you think?

4 I hate it when the desperate cries for action result in knee-jerk steps by the authorities, such as removing the dark film from all vehicle windows or shutting down all pubs in the city by 1 am. Why, that’s as illogical as suggesting that let us shut down the banks two hours early everyday as that might prevent robberies. A person who is sick enough in the head to commit rape will not hesitate because suddenly his car doesn’t have tinted glasses. He will hesitate if he knows that he’ll be thrashed in full public view if he does it. Why can’t we get that!

Mayans predicted that the world will end on December 21st this year. Well it didn’t, for most of us. For the girl who may not be able to eat through her mouth all her life even if she survives, it may just have. But her courage and the will to live despite all odds seem to have taken her straight into a new world, where the nightmare she went through has probably resulted in waking up millions of sleeping Indians. Maybe in this new world, my friend will be able to smile at a young girl without the fear of being misunderstood. Just maybe. 

Sonal Kalra feels ashamed when educated people blame clothes, culture or conduct for rape, when it is nothing but the urge to exercise control and power.


BY- Sonal Kalra (HT)

A wounded nation seeks answers

Some crimes are too gory to even imagine - like the one the national capital woke up to on Monday.

If movements have triggers, the gang rape of a girl in a moving bus - an unnamed 23-year-old who battles against the odds to live - has become a symbol of crimes against women in the country and has forced a pained and anguished nation to seek answers.

In the midst of widespread expressions of anger on the streets, a number of ugly realities - brushed under the carpet for too long - are, for perhaps the first time, being openly discussed.

Law and order, judicial reforms, punishments meted out to offenders and patriarchal Indian mindsets are being addressed in the public domain.

But despite the heated exchanges between citizen and state, between political parties, between friends and colleagues or in the home, there is no doubt that now is the time to act. India has had enough.

1. WHY do rapes happen? And why do groups of men attack a woman?
According to psychologists, gang rape is a manifestation of certain psychodynamics in a patriarchal society - factors such as false appraisal of masculinity, peer approval, boredom, joblessness combined together can lead to such sort of psychopathic gang behaviour.

Police records make no any distinction between rape and gang-rape, so no official stats are available. Gang rape is seen as a part of "negative group dynamics".

Sociologist, Shiv Viswanathan, calling this phenomenon an urban malaise, says, "Gang rape, not terrorism, is the ultimate terror in metros."

Viswanathan explains, "Usually gang rapists belong to two sects of society - either rich or powerful or the poor and unemployed. And it's in the big cities that the divide between both builds misplaced anger." -Zofeen Maqsood

2. WHY has it come to this? And is the problem even bigger than we know of? According to statistics, in 2002, New York City reported 1,468 cases of rape, London reported 2,731 cases, Delhi had 383 reported cases of rape this year. This, however, may be misleading as a large number of cases in India go unreported.

A patriarchal culture where "a woman is seen as a source who can bring potential shame to the family," is responsible, says Nirmala Venkatesh, former member of National Commission of Women.

"It is because of this fear that many women chose to bear the trauma silently," she adds.

Lawyer Pinky Anand however points out that social stigma is global.

According to Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, in US 54% of sexual assaults are not reported to police and about 97% of rapists never spend a day in jail.

Anand says, "Add to it delayed trials, hostile witnesses and justice is often delayed or denied.''

Experts also feel the apathy shown at various levels in society that further discourage a girl from gaining the courage to report. - ZM

3. WHY are people feeling so helpless and angry, even though it's 'yet another case'?
While doctors wage a war to save the 23-year-old victim, the incident has triggered mass protests across the nation.

"This violent incident is being viewed as a result of the state's complete indifference toward its citizens. The widespread protests could be an attempt to activate the state from its moral lethargy," says Radhika Chopra, a DU professor of sociology.

The girl, who was brutally battered by six men, had to be put on ventilator and doctors were forced to remove almost her entire intestines.

"A couple brutally assaulted at a decent evening hour and in the heart of the city forced people to speak up," says Anand Kumar, sociology professor at, JNU.

"It has crossed a threshold. This has shaken the conscience of the country," says Dr Sandeep Vohra, psychiatrist at Apollo hospital. - FS

4. WHY even lowly criminals and murderers look down on the rape accused?
Mukesh Singh, 30, among the accused men arrested for the gangrape, was greeted with expletives and jeering by jail inmates on Wednesday. (5 other accused are in a police lockup and yet to be sent to the jail by a court).

Singh could even get assaulted physically by co-inmates.

"A rape accused is ostracized, not given work or position of responsibility by co-inmates or even jail authorities," says retired IPS officer BK Gupta, former Delhi police commissioner.

Singh is among 1,200 other rape accused and convicts in Tihar, who constitute up to 10 per cent of Tihar's population of 12,000.

"A rapist is deemed filthy and at the bottom of the pile as per this hierarchy as he's seen to have targeted a vulnerable girl, part of somebody's family," said the source, adding: "Even a murderer cares about his family." Rape accused fear co-inmates in the US and some European countries too. Jails there segregate them. - Abhishek Sharan

5. IS the incident our Sandy Hook in terms of the shockwaves? And how do we explain it?
When a gunman walked into the Sandy Hook elementary school in the US earlier this month and shot 22 children dead, it shocked the entire world and led to the US rethinking their gun laws.

The Delhi gang-rape has been as shocking. Besides the anger and helplessness, the gory nature of the crime makes it difficult to explain to children.

"How will you explain it to kids when even adults find it difficult to hear about this heinous crime? The only way is not to go into the gory details but to give a good sense of the crime and its consequences," says Dr Samir Parikh, psychiatrist, Fortis Healthcare.

"Schools can be helpful in communicating such issues to children. You need to allow a child to vent out his feelings," adds Dr Parikh. - Furquan Siddiqui

6. WHY were male politicians silent, leaving women MPs to make emotional speeches?
While the country argued over issues raised - who should take responsibility? Why was security so lax? - Male MPs were relatively mum on the issue, leaving the female MPs to make emotional speeches.

But this, says Rajya Sabha MP Mani Shankar Aiyar, is not reflective of "any lack of concern on the part of the male MPs."

He says: "Especially on an issue like this, it's more appropriate that instead of me, Renuka Chaudhury should speak."

But Kamal Mitra Chenoy, professor of political theory at JNU, says: "It's a patriarchal thing," and he adds "On women's issues, men MPs can be extremely ill-mannered. In fact, few MPs have spoken about it even on TV." - Samar Khurshid

7. WHY is a woman's voice - and her vote - not being heard in the country? 
In elections, appeals are often made to caste/religion vote banks but gender issues are not prominent. Kamal Mitra Chenoy, professor of political theory at JNU, says the reason is that patriarchy and masculinity are very strong.

"The perception of traditional gender roles still exists. Women are seen as commodities, not independent thinkers."

Sociologist Amit Sharma says: "Even though there has been a demographic change in women, men do not see them as equal."

Kavita Krishnan, Secretary AIPWA, says, "No dominant political party is willing to challenge patriarchal attitudes." - SK

8. WHY was there such lax security to begin with?
While Police has come under criticism, there has been talk of forces been underemployed. With shortage of staff, the police move from one crisis to another.

The plan to deploy men at the bus stop started last year, but it stopped midway and only after the gangrape, the police decided to conduct a fresh survey. There is also a staff necessity. If there are ten personnel at a station, eight would be present in the day. This means only two are available for night duty.

The night staff too patrol only till 2am. This is why there is hardly any police presence after midnight. Authorities have pledged to change this. - Faizan Haider

By- Hindustan Times

30 Habits of Women Men Don’t Get

Women like to believe and like you to believe that they can get along perfectly well without a plan. But the truth is they cannot. Everything has to be organised, arranged, expected, and planned. And this is just the beginning of their quirkiness. Over the years, women have harboured and honed habits that they continue to develop and stick to with fervour. We list a few of those.

1. Going to the ladies room in groups

‘Seriously, what is that all about?’ is what all men think and discuss when all the ladies at their table get up together to visit the ladies room. We, like many others, have tried to decode this habit of women in the past, but there still remains an air of mystery around the ladies room saga. 

2. A dab of powder here & a touch of lipstick there

Most women carry mini make-up stores in their bags. When going to a party, women leave home all decked up. A 15 minute car ride later, they ‘touch up’ their faces before entering the designated venue. And at this exact instant men wonder, why is she doing that? Didn’t she spend an hour getting ready anyway?

 

 

3. Giggling

All women giggle. In fact, all women love to giggle. There is nervous giggle, excited giggle, I’m-hiding-a-secret giggle and so on. Women giggle out of habit, but not without reason. And the reason behind the giggle is hardly ever known to the confused man.

 

4. ‘Am I fat, honey?’

To be honest, women ask this question more out of habit. Yes, they are conscious about their weight and their looks, but many-a-times this question is thrown at a man just because their subconscious says it is time to do. So, the next time she asks you this question, make sure you give an answer that she is habituated to listen to. 

 

5. The face pack

Yes, men know that the face pack promises to give women a glowing, well moisturised skin. But I haven’t met a single man who has genuinely noticed a considerable difference in the way his

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6. Try 5 outfits; Decide to buy a new one

All women do this. Before going to a party they try everything their wardrobe has to offer, and then ceremoniously declare they have no clothes and need to go shopping ASAP.

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7. Clutches

The only thing a clutch can hold is one pair of keys and a lipstick. The rest – comb, phone, tissues, powder, etc – are all stuffed in the dashboard of the car or a man’s pocket. In spite of knowing the uselessness of a clutch, women carry it with them, always. Why?

8. The BIG bag

Obviously women need to carry a bag around. But do they need to carry a bag big enough to fit the Taj Mahal in it? Probably not.

8. The BIG bag

Obviously women need to carry a bag around. But do they need to carry a bag big enough to fit the Taj Mahal in it? Probably not.

 

9. Foot / nail lotion

A cream for the face, hair, body is one thing. But the habit of buying a separate cream for the foot, toes, and nails is something men never understand. The question that crosses a man’s mind is: foot and nails are a part of the body, so why a separate cream for them?

 

10. Ribbons

Women love ribbons. They like to tie them to their hair, use it to hold paper together, add them to gift packaging and perhaps use them to decorate a hat. Ribbons are a part of every woman’s collection and it is one thing they cannot do without. Creatures of habit?

 

11. Greeting cards

It is the day and age of e-cards and text messages, but women cannot get over their greeting card obsession. And men cannot understand why! A greeting card needs to be made or bought for birthdays, anniversaries and any and all events of celebration.

 

12. Cleaning and arranging

For most women, cleaning and arranging things in their proper order is a hobby, let alone a habit. They cannot rest till all the blues are lined from light to dark, till the cushions are puffed up

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13. Crockery and Cutlery

Women love both these items. The kitchen is well stocked with a fruit fork, a dessert spoon, a salad bowl, a serving dish, an eating dish, a small plate, a…. OMG! By the time the man figures out in what plate he is to eat using which fork, he is sure to lose his appetite.

 

14. Change of clothes

Women love changing clothes. If possible, they would have separate morning, afternoon, evening, night and late-night clothes and go about changing their looks 5 times a day for every day of their life. Alas! Budget and space constraints stop them from following this habit to the T. 

 

15. Yes means No, No means Yes

ALL men agree that they cannot fathom this particular habit of women. For the love of God, why do women have to say yes when they mean no and vice versa?! Maybe, they are just genetically engineered to be this way. Maybe.

 

16. Frenemies

You know that habit, when women hug each other when they meet but then bad mouth one another behind the back? Yea, that one. This frenemy concept is one which men fail to understand. Coz in the man world, you’re either a buddy or not. Simple.

 

17. Trick questions

“So, who is hotter? Your ex or the one you were staring at 2 minutes ago” THIS right here is a trick question. She doesn’t care about your ex, she doesn’t care about the other woman, she is mad at you for staring but she won’t tell you that. Instead, she will put you in a spot and absolutely agonise you. And she is doing this out of habit. 

17. Trick questions

“So, who is hotter? Your ex or the one you were staring at 2 minutes ago” THIS right here is a trick question. She doesn’t care about your ex, she doesn’t care about the other woman, she is mad at you for staring but she won’t tell you that. Instead, she will put you in a spot and absolutely agonise you. And she is doing this out of habit. 

 

 

18. Shopping

This one is a centuries old issue and men have made peace with it by accepting the fact that women love to shop. Still, if you dig deeper you will know that men simply cannot fathom how women can love shopping so much? How can they make a habit out of a rather tiresome experience? HOW?

18. Shopping

This one is a centuries old issue and men have made peace with it by accepting the fact that women love to shop. Still, if you dig deeper you will know that men simply cannot fathom how women can love shopping so much? How can they make a habit out of a rather tiresome experience? HOW?

 

19. Ask questions, yet don’t seek answers

Of course women love asking questions. In fact they are habituated to asking ones they know they don’t want an answer to. Yet, they trouble a man till he answers and then yell at him for answering. Women and their habits!

19. Ask questions, yet don’t seek answers

Of course women love asking questions. In fact they are habituated to asking ones they know they don’t want an answer to. Yet, they trouble a man till he answers and then yell at him for answering. Women and their habits!

 

20. Gossip

Men gossip too. But they don’t understand how women can live on gossip; day-in, day-out, 24 hours, 7 days of unadulterated gossip. Truth be told, this is one habit that is passed down generations. It is an important evolutionary concept and men shouldn’t break their head trying to understand it. 

21. Carrying flats around

Women love heels, even when they cannot walk in them. Yet, they will wear them and, as an alternative, carry flats around. When you see a woman switching her heels with her flats, you will spot her companion (standing right next to her) rolling his eyes in exasperation.

 

22. Texting

“What will you eat?” “What time will you come?” “If you are reaching in 5, should I heat the food?” Women have found a way of turning texting into question-asking. And men are yet again at a loss of words at a woman’s ability to turn a helpful tool into a tiresome habit.

 

23. To eat or not to eat

Women don’t want to gain weight and yet they dream about chocolates and cakes. Why not eat and be happy or not eat and be happy? But then again, women never liked to keep it simple. 

 

24. Screeching

Women screech. They don’t shout or yell, they make that shrieking noise that can burn a hole in a man’s ears. If you don’t know what I am talking about, think of the way in which girls screech when they see their favourite celebrity or pair of shoes they love. Got what I am saying now?

 

25. Pouting and posing

Women love to pout and pose. All you have to do is stand with a camera in front of them and they will start their performance. While men are perfectly happy to make do with an awkward smile, women feel it imperative to unleash their inner model. Yet again, to do so is their habit and men don’t understand head or tail of it.

 

26. Cross-checking

Women like to verify facts and stories. And they do so even at the risk of irking their man. Women may cross-check out of habit or doubt, but this behavioural trait is one they got to do away with.

 

27. Sharing EVERYTHING with her BFF

Men have never understood and perhaps will never understand why women share everything with their girlfriends. They also cannot comprehend what it is that woman can talk about for hours and hours non-stop. Guess, it’s just a girly thing afterall! 

 

28. Last minute arrangements

Women will work and arrange and decide and organise till the very last minute. So much so, that sometimes, all the preparations make the man not want to go to wherever it is that they are headed.

 

29. The silent treatment

Either they talk too much and ask too many questions or they don’t talk at all. Using silence as a weapon when they’re upset is typical of a woman. This is one habit that *scares* men and puts them into uncomfortable, damage-control zone ASAP.

 

 

30. XOXO and <3 h4="h4"> Women love using symbols and emoticons to express their feelings. While it is good sometimes, most of the times most men think it is downright funny and unnecessary. What’s this excessive need to blow air kisses and hugs in the first place, they wonder.

 

 

From- Mensxp.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 most annoying habits of women

Nothing compares to the sensuous, seductive caress of a woman; that perfume that gets you heady; the way their soft hands feel in yours; the way those soft, luscious lips feel on your cheeks; the way that fabric hugs their figure.

There is nothing that beats it. They have to simply walk past us in those shiny heels to get us swooning and sighing. It doesn't take much for them to floor us.
But we all know how despite being God's most wonderful creation, they can get to us with those annoying habits of theirs. Those habits that make us tear our hair out. If only women would get rid of these, we will have nothing to complain about, ever. Here are some of them:

1. It's nothing

When in the middle of a sentence, you stop short and say, "I wanted to tell you something, but never mind, it's nothing", we immediately get danger signs popping up left and right. Here's what you actually come across as saying.
a) I don't think you're capable enough of understanding what I was going to say
b) I don't want to share this information with you, I'd rather do it with someone else
c) I have other important things to do, so goodbye.

2. Yap, yap, yap

God, can you women folk talk! We're perfectly okay as long as you're yapping away with your girlfriends. We don't know where you find endless things to talk about, but, we're sorry, we cannot spend five hours on the phone with you. It not only heats up our ears, it sort of nibbles at our brains. If only you'd shut up and listen to us every now and then. Whoever said you're good listeners? You're only just waiting to start off with your story the moment there is a second's silence in the conversation.

3. I don't know you

"You know everything about me, but I hardly know a thing about you," is your common grouse. Now whose fault is that? Did we ask you to tell us every damn thing about your life? Did we come and ask you about every family member in your family and their quirks? If you voluntarily offer information, it is not mandatory, we do the same. And if you think you don't know us, place a hot seat and shoot with the questions, as long as it comes with a guarantee for some action by the end of it.

4. Waterworks

When you bring out the waterworks, that's when you really get to us. Is there a reason you cry at the bat of an eyelid? Do you have a tap up there somewhere, which is at your beck and call? What is it with you women? Do you have to cry for every little thing? You know how to use it well though, because you use it to induce guilt; you use to win arguments; you use it to tilt us to your way of thinking.

5. This or that?

You will hover over something for eternity: this dress or that? Pasta or lasagna? Red shoes or blue ones? God, just pick up a damn thing and get over with it, will you? We don't have the patience until you match every piece of your outfit a million times and just when it seems to be coming together, change your mind and star all over again. We don't really care after a point of time. Yes, we want you to look your best, but we can't wait forever for you to make up your mind.

6. Hairy Harry

I know it is really hard for women. You have to do so much to look good for the men in your life. So much maintenance. I know all of that. But unfortunately that's how it is. We love you for a reason. And when at times there is hair on your upper lips or on your chin, it puts us off. Like you have expectations of us: chivalry, commitment, humor, sensitivity, hygiene etc, we too have certain expectations of you. And don't try to bleach your hair because it's not the colour of your hair that's the problem, it's the hair.

7. Meddlesome monkey

We also don't like the fact you interfere in everything we do: our hairstyle to our clothes to our drinking to the way we talk, walk, the channels we watch etc. Always remember, you chose us for a reason, so why try and change us now? So, please back off and give us some breathing room.

8. Tell us what to say

If you cook something and you ask us for our opinion, we are instantly in trouble. If we say it is good, you say we’re saying it for the heck of it. If we say it’s not so good, you will say we are insensitive and mean. If we say it lacks seasoning, you will make a face and tell us to take charge of the kitchen. Same goes with everything else: from the dresses you chose to something you paint or write or sing or whatever it is. Whatever we say, we are in trouble anyway, so you might as well give us a list of acceptable comments that we shall always follow.


From- Yahoo

Bachpan_______

Bachpan ki Yaadein.....
Jab bhi yaad aati hai,
Chehre par muskaan utar aati hai,
Kuch khatti to kuch meethi yaadein hai,
Bebajha khilkhila ke hasna,
Wo chandni raaton me luddu or
Taas ke patte khelna,
Apna kaha manvane ke rooth jana,
Bhai Behan se bin baat ke ladai karna,
Bhari dophari me chat par khelna,
Maa ke daante par bhi na manna,
Barish ke dino me chat par pani bharke masti karna,
Ghar ke darwaje par Papa ka wait karna,
Or wait karte hue wahi so jana,
Maa hatha se khana khana,
Bhai Behan ka har kadam par sath dena,
Na jane kaha kho jate hai ye Bacpan ke din,
Na jane kyn gujar jate hai ye Bachpan ke din,
Kash ke ye din na gujarte,
Kash ke ye din phir se laut aaye,

Bachpan ki Yaadein.....
Jab bhi yaad aati hai...


Written By- Akshay Bhardwaj
Date- Oct 30, 2012
Copyright @ Akshay Bhardwaj

Hey, anyone wants to come to the loo?

...and 5 other things girls say that guys can never understand
There are only three kinds of men who can't understand women, young men, old men and middle-aged men

Kasam se I was going to write on a serious topic today. Why,

haven’t you seen my conscious attempt over the last few weeks to shed the joker image and take up life-altering issues that leave a monumental impact on the human psyche? I even had a deck of cards ready on my table, with topics ranging from corruption to global warming neatly mentioned, so that I could scientifically arrive at what to write about in the column this week. But then as I was about to shuffle and pick one up, a voice rang from outside my office cabin. “Hey, anyone wants to come to the loo?” This rather public query by a female colleague was followed by a few incomprehensible girlie sounds and then another girl from the team shouted back, “Yeah, I’ll come”. Eventually, a group of four marched towards the restroom. Shrugging this off as a perfectly routine occurrence as any woman would, I was about to turn my attention to the global warming card when a male colleague who had come to drop some papers casually remarked, “I can never understand why girls look for company even when going to the washroom.” I didn’t really have an answer. I could’ve said that a loo-break gives a much needed breather for girls to indulge in some harmless gossip, much like a smoking-break does for some, but by then, my mind had gone on a trip to look for other things women normally say or do that men just do not get their heads around. Dear global warming, you are anyway a slow occurrence, surely you won’t mind waiting. Here we go...

1 ‘All men are the same’: This, by far, is one sentence that any woman- of any age, colour, caste, creed or nationality- can utter most convincingly, with a sigh and a shake of the head.  It is normally preceded by ‘I thought you were different, but’ coupled with a few insta-tears for effect. What the poor guys don’t anticipate is the speed at which they fall from the pedestal, and turn from hero to jerk in an instant after an argument. Actually, if you think deeper, all women are the same when it comes to terming all men as the same. Wait, I’m confused.

2 ‘Nothing’: Yes, that’s what they say when they are visibly upset and you ask them what’s wrong. But my dear, God Almighty help you if you accept the answer ‘nothing’ at face value and stop asking. Remember, a girl saying Nothing = you and your day are screwed. By the way, I must confess to this strange hermaphrodite like feeling addressing women as ‘they’. But then, to stay true to the topic, I’m thinking like a guy for this one. Karna padta hai.

3 ‘Do I look fat?’:  A girl can never get tired of asking this, even when she, and the guy, know that if he makes the mistake of nodding even by a nano centimetre, she would strap him on the train tracks and make Rajdhani Express help him attain nirvana. The guys don’t understand why girls still keep asking this. But I know that the answer to this question, in any language of the world, has to be ‘No’.  Don’t even think about being all diplomatic and saying ‘curvy girls are better’ or some such shit at that moment. Because all they will hear is ‘Yes, you look fat’. If you are a direct descendant of the Father of the Nation and would prefer dying to telling a lie, well, okay. Just for you, I’ll someday write about painless ways of committing suicide.

4‘Let’s eat at some nice place’: This seems like a totally harmless thing to say, but Oh.My.God. First, this ‘some nice place’ is the most blah phrase, because an hour would then be spent rejecting all the ‘nice’ places you suggest. And when you finally reach a place of her choice, she’ll order for a salad, because, you know, there’s some organic funda going around. And then eat three-fourth of what you ordered.

5‘She’s pretty but wears too much makeup’: This, or a close variation is what a woman would always reply if a man asks her opinion of any other woman in the universe. This is true even if you were to ask a girl’s opinion of someone who is in no way a direct threat to her, like a film star. If a woman wants to praise another woman, she’ll almost always appreciate her non-physical characteristics, like her ‘sweet nature’ etc, but rarely her physical beauty. Call it subconscious jealousy or an inherent insecurity, but that’s how it is. Samajh jaao toh accha. Why torture her by even asking her opinion on something that would keep her from giving an honest answer? There are so many others and the list is endless. But before some Naari mukti morcha decides to burn my effigy, let me say loud and clear that there are many more things that men say and do, which to a woman seem about as useful or logical as the letter P in psycho. Let’s take some of those in the next column. Whatsay?

Sonal Kalra totally believes in Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus argument.
Is that why there’s global warming on earth?
Mail at sonal.kalra@hindustantimes.com or facebook.com/sonalkalra13.
Follow on Twitter @sonalkalra.

Enjoy Sex, Boost Love Life...

Losing heat between the sheets? Take a quick refresher course to enjoy sex better and boost your love life

Just like sex isn't a one man show, good sex isn't just about achieving the end game. For it to be magic, both partners need to step up their act and rise to the occasion. But with differing preferences, abilities and responses, getting it right each time can be a little overwhelming. To help spice up the mundane and overhaul the awkward, here's a simple checklist.

Use fantasies

You've heard this before, but it's a fact — The brain is THE most powerful sex organ. Fantasies allow us to free up sexual habits and try out new things. Shared fantasies can liven up a sexual relationship to add new excitement and rekindle arousal. The most pleasurable sexual fantasies are those that centre around ideals that are unobtainable in 'real' life.

Talk, talk, talk

When in the act, it's essential for partners to talk to each other about what they feel. It isn't a silent film. Tell each other what you'd like to do so your bodies adjust and pleasure each other. Talk, especially dirty, can be very erotic during sex.

Partner preferences

A majority of men don't seem to understand that during foreplay, progress from kissing and cuddling to caressing isn't only extremely exciting and pleasurable for a woman, but is essential for her arousal. Without it, sexual pleasure and satisfaction are a long way off. Being considerate here will bring you brownie points.

Different strokes

Men and women respond romantically and erotically to environment and atmosphere. Among others, soft lighting, subdued colours, gentle background music, pleasing scents, melodious voices and seductive dressing helps reduce inhibitions. It paves the way for an intimate encounter.

Prolong the ride

Getting here isn't easy. In order to prolong pleasure, the woman must be highly aroused during foreplay, where being gentle is imperative. Extend the sexual tension between you and your partner by punctuating it with pauses, reading reactions and responding to them.

Make a 'date'

Put the date in your diary. Prepare by buying a new dress or a new shirt. Book a table at a restaurant. Book a taxi. Send flowers. Get a little gift. Visit the hairdresser's or get a new scent. In short, make the effort to recreate the initial rush that sent you aflutter.

Change of place

This doesn't mean swinging from the chandeliers but try a chair or a sofa or a different part of the house for novelty. It's exciting, risque and reeks of spontaneity.

— Daily Mirror

By- TOI (Times Of India)

How to kiss Passionatly...

It really doesn’t matter if you are player or just getting started, the bottom-line is  you need to be a more-than-good kisser to present yourself as lovable and passionate.

If you have been struggling to  get the action mastered, consider the following set of tips.

Getting Prepared

To get started, you need to ensure there are no distractions. Get rid of all the apprehensions in your mind and leave your worries behind for some other day. Be confident of yourself. Better circulation of blood means that your face will feel warmer, more welcoming and supple — something that is often ignored when kissing passionately is discussed - so, think naughty thoughts.

Getting Expressive With Your Lips

It really doesn’t matter whether you bump your nose or your teeth collide. These things really don’t matter as long as you are ready to get creative with your lips. For starters, a passionate kiss can seldom be a light one. You need to press your lips with your partners. Don’t fret about what just right. Just remember that your lips should be smudged without worrying about the rhythm. If you are slightly more experienced in this niche, try to start with a full-on kiss and alternate it with lighter ones. The lighter mode includes moving away from her lips for a second, gathering your breath and then diving deeper with more momentum.

Getting Creative With Your Lips & Tongue

The French take the honors for inventing a rather passionate way of kissing. However, French Kissing isn't the only type of kiss that expresses passion. Forget about every rule in the book of kissing you have ever read or heard about. Keep it simple and try out as many variations as you. The best way to be a passionate kisser is to be spontaneous. This means doing everything possible with your tongue too. For instance, you can be sloppy with your tongue. This means smearing your partner's lips with a bit more of wetness and then repeatedly wiping it off with your lips. Suck your partner's lower lip into your mouth by shaping your lips like a big pout. When his/her lips are inside your mouth, tease and nibble them with your tongue and teeth.

Getting Aggressive Without Being Fast

Perhaps, one the most overlooked aspects of kissing passionately is the pace. There are no rules when you are trying to be spontaneous and expressive. However, it is recommended not to be too quick about it. Every variation of a kiss that you try should be slow in the execution. Whether it is pleasing him/her in bed or kissing passionately, being quick isn't the wisest approach sense it makes your sense rush through the motions, reducing the overall impact, not allowing your mind to process every bit of exhilaration it feels.

When Trying to Kiss Passionately Use Your Body Too

This passionate kissing tip is applicable to all those who are under the impression that your mouth needs to do all the work when kissing. The reality is that the manner in which your embrace your partner, preferably a tight hug, makes a major difference. The closer your bodies are pressed against each other, the better access you will have to your partner's mouth. More bodily contact also suggests that you are more passionate about him/her and aren't just testing or trying-out kissing. Slowly pull your partner closer when kissing, it will create a better impact.

Explore Beyond the Lips

Opinions differ on this aspect, but still most kissing experts suggest not limiting yourself to your partner's mouth. Use your lips like an explorer on the move. Kiss, lick and taste every bit of his/her face, including the chin, neck, cheeks and eyes. Nibble on her/his face, especially the ears.

Top 5 excuses for not having SEX...

Most common excuses for skipping sex

In a study of 4000 British adults, one in five admitted to regularly making excuses for not having sex. In a world that’s becoming increasingly chaotic, it’s unsurprising to hear that the most exciting thing that happens between the sheets nowadays is simply sleeping. Here are the top five excuses we use for not having sex:

Sex excuse 1: “I’m too tired”

“Please babe, I’ve been at work all day and I’m tired” – oh, that old chestnut. A recent study has revealed that the “I’m too tired” scenario has become the top excuse to avoid having sex, with “I have a headache” stepping down from first place to third on the list. As many of us seem to be working longer hours than ever before, it’s no surprise that when we reach our bedroom it’s often less of the passionate kissing and sexy underwear, and more about the unattractive pyjamas and comfortable slippers. Sometimes we even use “I’m too tired” as an excuse before we’ve even thought about whether we’re tired or not. In actual fact, sex floods the brain with relaxing chemicals such as oxytocin, which calms down our brains and compliments our sleep. Suddenly sex is back on the menu...

Sex excuse 2: “I’m on my period”

This is obviously an excuse that the gentleman among us can’t pull out of the bag when they’re just not feeling up to it. For the ladies, it’s a favourite excuse that works every time. When they drop it into a conversation casually, it’s an indirect way of saying “I’m not up for it. It’s just not happening so before we take this evening any further, please remember that the most you’re getting at the end of the night is a snuggle”. They know that the age-old  ‘time of the month’ excuse makes men squirm a little bit before simply being quiet and not asking any more questions on the subject, making this the perfect excuse if they’re looking for a quick get-out that requires little effort or explanation.  You can’t mess with nature, gentlemen.

Sex excuse 3: “I’m angry with you”

Some sneaky devils try and avoid sex by dragging out an argument for longer than it needed to last or purposely causing one. We’ve all heard of the scenario; you’re having a fantastic evening watching films, gorging on a candle-lit romantic meal, and laughing at each other’s jokes when suddenly the bedroom part comes and boom – you just remembered your argument from the other night. Suddenly the candles are blown out, the oversized comfy pyjamas have made their grand entrance and you’re lying on the bed facing opposite directions. No sex tonight. *Celebratory gasp of relief*

Sex excuse 4: “I’ve got a headache”

People all over the world seem to get a headache when it’s leading up to the big moment. We can’t think why. In fact, the fake headache excuse has been put to use so much that it made it to third place in a recent survey of top excuses for not having sex. If it’s a real headache and not a euphemism for “I don’t feel like doing it today, sweetheart” studies suggest that sex can actually help. Indeed, scientists believe that the chemicals released in your brain during sex make getting down and dirty 10 times more effective than Valium. It’s the pleasure aspect that provides pain relief though; if you just lie down passively and make your partner do all the work, it isn’t going to happen. If you’re the one playing the “I have a headache” card, make sure your partner doesn’t know this handy piece of knowledge. If they do, it might be worth picking another excuse off this list, just to be safe. If you’re partner’s using this excuse, they’ve just been busted.

Sex excuse 5: “I don’t have time”

We can feel your pain with this one. As we’re working longer hours, there seems to be less time for sex and more time for hard work. If you’re genuinely struggling for time, throw spontaneity out of the window and schedule sex in. It sounds unsexy, but there’s nothing wrong with planning a session of romance if it’s completely stopped happening on its own. If you’re one of those people who has plenty of time to plant flowers, paint the bathroom and make artwork out of melted wax crayons but suddenly have no time when it comes to sexy time, it might be best to think of a better excuse. They say that women can multi-task but ironing and doing the deed at the same time could be painful...

5 lies men tell women

The most common lies some men tell

A recent study of 2000 British people revealed that men lie on average six times a day; that’s double the amount of the average woman. We’ve all heard the classic “no, your bum doesn’t look big in that”, but what other common lies do men tell women?

Lies men tell women 1: “I don’t want to do anything, but let’s just lie in bed”

Men feel that desexualising the thought of you and him in bed means that he’s onto a winner when it comes to a little sexy time. When he says “let’s go to bed for a snuggle” it usually leads to “shall we hop under the covers? It’s getting chilly” and then “please take your clothes off, I love the feel of your skin next to mine”, and you get the idea of where it goes from there.  Sometimes it’s good to just go along with this because it can be entertaining for women to wait for his next move; it’s always so predictable that it’s kind of comical. Bless men for thinking they’re being all sneaky when we know exactly what they’re up to. Cheeky little liars!

Lies men tell women 2: “No, I’m not married”

Whether they’re single or taken, married or divorced, the weak spot for many men is revealing their true relationship status when they’re approached by a member of the opposite sex. “I’m divorced and on the dating scene at the moment” usually translates to “I’m married with five kids” when you’re speaking to the man who swears that the awfully suspicious ring on his finger was a present from his mum.  Men love being approached by a member of the opposite sex because it gives them an ego boost and they love to lap it up. It’s not until a few days later when they add you to a social networking site from a friend’s account that you come across their account. And their fiancé’s account. Busted. Come on guys, have some common sense.

Lies men tell women 3: “I’m on my way”

 “I’m on my way now”, when said by a man, is usually accompanied by background music and the relentless chatting of familiar voices that you recognise to be those of his friends in a bar. What he means is that he’s thinking about coming home but isn’t quite ready yet. When you ring him an hour later, he says “Sorry babe, my mate bought me another drink so I had to stay” – classic male lie.  The trick to getting your man home on time tonight is telling him you’ll be wearing something sexy at 8.00pm. He’ll be home pronto with no excuses to be heard. Until he realises your sexy underwear is actually your comfy clothes and he comes to the sudden realisation that’s he’s supposed to be meeting his mate...

Lies men tell women 4: “I’m sober as a judge”

What is it with men not being able to admit that they can’t handle their drink? “I’m sober as a judge” he insists, as he stumbles his way up the stairs. If you’re going to tell this lie, men, at least don’t walk up the stairs like you have two left feet. Try brushing your teeth before you try kissing us too; alcohol breath is the biggest tell-tale sign of a drunken partner. Even the next morning when you clearly have the hangover from hell, the closest to the truth we’re going to get is “I did get a little tipsy, but I certainly wasn’t drunk”.

Lies men tell women 5: “I was staring at her jeans because I thought they’re the same as yours”

When a man is looking at another lady’s behind and you pull him up on it, the classic excuse is “I was staring at her jeans because I thought they were the same as yours”. Erm, I don’t own a pair of bright pink jeans so I don’t think they are the same as mine and even if they were the same, why would this be so fascinating? We know that men look at other women, but when they do it right in front of our eyes and then lie about it, it makes us feel kind of bad about ourselves. Some men just don’t seem to have any control over their wandering eyes these days.

Five Lies Women Tell Men...

The most common lies women tell

We’ve heard the lies that men tell women and now we think it’s about time the ladies came clean too; trust us, they don’t exactly come out smelling of roses. From lying about how many sexual partners they’ve had, to pretending they’re a dress size smaller than they actually are, the females have their fair share of fibs. Here’s the lowdown:

Lies women tell men 1: “I don’t know where it is! I haven’t touched it!”

Whether you’re a man or a woman reading this, you’re probably familiar with the scenario where she tidies up and suddenly his possessions go AWOL. On most of these occasions, the missing item mysteriously appears somewhere obscure, such as in her handbag (what could she possibly want with a beard trimming kit?). When questioned again as to how the missing item got there, she suddenly remembers that she put it there because it was making a mess around the house so she wanted to shove it somewhere out of sight. Men can’t seem to leave anything anywhere without it being swept up and taken elsewhere. If you’re going to move something ladies, at least remember where you moved it to and don’t tell the “I haven’t touched it!” lie to your man. Men know that they need a little help keeping the place clean every now and then, but what’s wrong with putting his things where he can see them? We rest our case. Oh wait, where did that case go? Anyone seen a case?

Lies women tell men 2: “No way! I love that too!”

Women have hobbies – granted. Why is it though, that whatever their love interest enjoys doing in his spare time, this is suddenly their favourite hobby too? A man could tell a woman something random like “I enjoy rock climbing with a purple crayon in my rucksack” and she’d say “no way! I love that too!” Ladies like their love interests to think there’s some sort of profound, deep-rooted connection that makes you love all the things they love and vice versa; this is more weird than impressive when they take it to the extreme though. Gents, next time a lady blatantly pretends to like something just so she can connect with you on guy level, take her to a boring match and snigger quietly into your chips as she struggles to hold her passionate smile in place for a moment longer.

Lies women tell men 3: “I wouldn’t change a thing about you”

When a woman says this, her pants are on fire. A woman might think that there’s nothing she would change about her man, but that’s until she realises his annoying habits and then compiles a dossier of her perfect man in her mind. If they wouldn’t change a thing about men then why do they nag their other half to clean up after themselves, have a shave, and stop leaving the toilet seat up? A woman may say that she loves these mannerisms because “that’s what makes you, you” (alongside all the other men in the world who share the same habits), but when they’re red in the face from yelling at their partner you realise they were just saying that they wouldn’t change anything about them out of politeness. Bless women for being so sensitive towards your feelings.

Lies women tell men 4: “I’ve not had many sexual partners”

When it comes to sexual partners, women are notorious for being economical with the truth. In fact, a recent survey published in the Journal of Sex Research states that a massive 68 per cent of women take a few notches off the bed post when asked about their past sexual encounters. Why? Because no matter how much we try to gloss over it, there is still a large amount of social stigma attached to women who have had their fair share of sexual partners and, with the derogatory labels used to define them, it’s no surprise that women would rather keep the truth to themselves. There’s a general rule of thumb that suggests that when a man says how many women he’s slept with, you should take three off to get an accurate number. For women, you add three on. In a society that has advanced as far as it has today, women should perhaps be treated equally to men, yet unfortunately they still feel pressured to tell porkies when this subject arises.

Lies women tell men 5: “I won’t get mad if you say I don’t look good in this dress”

Ahh this is an old classic. Women want the truth so that they know whether they can wear that dress or not, but when they’re told they look great, they never believe the poor worried man who just dished out this compliment. The reply is often something along the lines of “Great? I look great? Can you not see my muffin top?” When a man says “maybe you should change into something else”, suddenly he becomes the insulting bad guy who hates his other half’s body. This is the ultimate trap that most guys fall into at some point during their life. As soon as a man sees his partner changing into a new dress, he should run for the hills. Either that, or women should just say something along the lines of “tell me the truth or tell me a lie, either way I’ll be mad at you”, to give their partner a chance to hide.

Active sex life keeps you young, slim

Sex, which is said to make one look and feel young by boosting the skin's production of Vitamin D, has, as revealed by an expert, many other advantages.
Jennifer Dunkerley listed ten reasons why copulation is good and why people should have an active sex life.
It keeps your heart pumping.
The idea that men are more at risk of a heart attack during lovemaking is wrong, says Professor Peter Weisberg, British Heart Foundation medical director.
He says there is no evidence that men who have sex regularly in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond are at increased risk.
It prevents erectile dysfunction.
Finnish scientists have found that men who have sex at least twice a week are less likely to suffer erectile dysfunction in later life.
It helps to relieve stress.
"While stress can have an effect on your libido it is important to understand that sex is the greatest natural stress reliever," the Daily Star quoted Dr Irvine Hendrix as saying.
A study of more than 50 middle-aged women found sex, or even simple physical affection with your partner, significantly reduces negative mood and stress and creates more positive moods in the following days.
It burns calories.
"Sex is a low-intensity workout so the time and intensity of your sexual activity will ultimately determine how many calories you burn. The other good news is that sex would count towards your daily 30 minutes of activity," Gillian Reeves, group exercise manager at Virgin Active, said.
It helps release happy hormones.
"Sex will release endorphins which make you feel good, so you can have fun and feel great at the same time," Reeves said.
It will keep you fit and toned.
"If you feel like your physical appearance is good, then you''ll be much more likely to engage in physical activity like sex just because you just feel better," Dr Pamela Peeke told the 2011 Zumba fitness convention.
"Sex involves lots of muscle activity so you''ll continue to feel fit and toned. It''s a winning formula," she added.
It stops colds from developing.
Those who have sex more than twice a week produce more immuno-globulin A, a substance found in saliva that helps the immune system to fight off colds and flu.
It will make you look younger.
Anti-ageing expert Dr Eric Braverman reckons an active sex life can help you look and feel younger by boosting the skin''s production of Vitamin D.
It makes you live longer.

Men who have sex less than once a month have double the risk of dying prematurely than those who have sex twice a week, a study in Wales showed.

5 Great reasons to fall in love

It's quite peculiar but everywhere I look, I see an absence of a very valuable emotion: Love. I see loveless marriages, bored couples just passing their years together because the security of being together outweighs the chances of their finding love again.
I also meet so many people scared to fall in love. Some of them are so scared at the possibility of being hurt that the thought of such an eventuality deters them from even trying, else, they have been bitten or become bitter by past experiences. Then there are those that are just too shy and some that think they are undeserving of being recipients of such an overwhelming emotion. And of course there are those that set their expectations as high as Angelina Jolie or George Clooney. Let me give you five great reasons to fall in love quick and to keep your relationship loving.
1. You feel great! Love struck individuals constantly churn out a brain chemical called dopamine, a feel-good stimulant that's responsible for those feelings of bliss, optimism and patience. It infuses you with energy, excites you to discover and do new things, eat new food, and the smallest of things cause so much joy.
2. You lose weight. When in love your body is constantly pumping out a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine, which in turn produces adrenaline which suppresses your appetite. Besides, most of us tend to hit the gym more often in order to look and feel our best.
3. Whoever said "a fool in love" couldn't have been more wrong because you become smarter! Scientists at the University of Pavia in Italy found that falling in love raises levels of a hormone that improves memory by triggering the growth of new brain cells.
4. You look younger because oxytocin, triggers the release of DHEA, an anti-aging hormone that triggers cell restoration in the body.
5. People in a relationships have 1/3 the death rate of single people and having a romantic support system protects the body from developing high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), which causes heart disease. What are you waiting for? Go out there and fall in love.....!

I am 16-year-old boy and I met a girl on the first day of my school. I am attracted to her and incidently she sat in front of me during exams. She asked me for answers and I told her. Then one day she messaged me on a social networking site and we shared our numbers. Since then we have been talking regularly. But lately she has stopped calling me. What do I do?
It seems evident contact was made, waters were tested and the ship sailed on. Or perhaps she was expecting more than just chatter? Try sending her a little present or a lovely bunch of flowers. It's a small investment but may reap rich rewards!

I am a 27-yea-old man and am not sure whether I am in a relationship or not. I know this girl for the past five years. We like each other and I went ahead and asked her mother for her hand. I was refused flatly on my face. I have been taking care of their family for a while now both emotionally and financially and don't understand what more they want. She has never liked anyone else and now I am confused what to do. Please help.
It's sad that while you are supportive of the family emotionally and also financially, they are clear they don't see you as anything more than a benefactor. Why don't you just put the ball in her court? Tell her that you're ready to settle down and would love to do so with her, but you leave the choice to her as to whether she chooses to reciprocate or shun the proposal and then decide if you'd like to continue the social service or make a future for yourself.

I am a 21-year-old boy who has always thought of having a girlfriend. All my friends have their girls whom they keep talking to all the time but I feel they are all like stalkers. I always thought that first I should earn and then get into all this. Is this peer-pressure?
If your girlfriend will be happy with walks, holding hands and junk food, there's no problem. There are different stages for different ages. But you're not in your teens anymore. You're 21 and, I suggest you work hard and undistractedly towards a stable, financial future first. Use your spare time to read up and research what makes women tick and ways to cultivate the most satiating relationships. The need for romance is important, but money also plays a very crucial role in creating romance in relationships today. Coffee's, movies, lunches and dinners, presents, little getaways together, etc., are almost integral to relationship building. Why live a compromised life?

I am a 20-year-old girl and I have a cousin who is 14 years older to me and divorced. We have been on great terms but lately things went a little too far. We kissed and made out. He says he loves me and wants me. I know it is wrong but cannot stop. He now wants to make love to me. What do I do?
In India, there are different laws within religions and communities regarding intimate relationships with cousins. As you have not specified yours, I can only advise you to refrain, especially if you feel your family would be averse to it. I don't see the sense in starting something that cannot be sustained, or have long-term benefits and might in many aspects be something that may cause lots of grief, regret and complications.