A calmer you: I want a PhD in hurt sentiments

Please acknowledge my unique talent. My sentiments do not go a week without getting hurt. I’ve always cried hoarse that when it comes to being sentimental, or senti, or mental, there’s no one quite like me. But you all just smile and ignore it. Well, not anymore, 

because my sentiments now want their due. I claim to hold a record in sentiments that are the quickest in the world to get hurt. Sometimes even before knowing the cause. They are pretty experienced, you see. They were hurt the first time when I was born and heard the nurse at the hospital hesitatingly tell my dad, ‘Sir, ladki ho gayi. Chalo phir bhi badhai ho.’ Ouch. And they have stayed hurt ever since. By God’s grace and that of our countrymen, the occasions to feel and express the hurt have been aplenty. Had I lived in any other country, I would have had to make the effort of looking out for valid reasons to get upset. Here, thankfully, everything is a reason and every reason is valid.

I don’t know why some people raise a big objection to something as heart-tugging as hurt sentiments. Arrey, dil hai to dukhega nah? Mera toh dukh jaata hai, easily. Every other day, someone mad as a hatter goes ahead and writes a book, or does a painting, or makes a film, without caring for my sentiments. They don’t even think twice before assigning a religion to their characters. How utterly horrible to only care for money and not for the feelings of lakhs, including someone innocent like me, who believe in bhagwan jis of all religions. Bloody commercial minded people, I tell you. I still remember when I saw my first film. There was a guy who rapes and murders a girl. And chalo, rape and murder toh theek hai, but guess what, he had the same name as my first cousin. A typical Hindu name! Can you believe it? I went into such a depression. Finally, when I couldn’t appear for my term-end exams and wrote ‘hurt sentiments’ as the reason in the application, my teacher scolded me. ‘Are you crazy? It’s just a film. They are acting,’ she said. ‘How unsentimental,’ I thought.

Then I read some stupid award-winning book in which the antagonist, a dacoit, was a Muslim. Oh my God! My sentiments almost jumped off the terrace. I’m not Muslim myself but, you see, my best friend at that time was. I thought of asking the same teacher where I could lodge a complaint against the author, but she had been giving me dirty looks from the time of the film incident, so I kept the hurt within. For years, I have taken offence at every film, every book, every statement, but had no one to share my pain with.

Well, not anymore. Now I see that my other, equally emotional, brothers and sisters have also started coming out in the open with their protests. And apparently, they are powerful enough to make even governments ban films and authors. Yeh hui nah baat. Unity wins. The story of your movie may be based on Hindu or Muslim or Sikh or whatever terrorists, but how can you show them as Hindu or Muslim or Sikh? Give them numbers instead of names, call your villains A2 or B1 and make them wear identity-free dresses. Leave them clothes-less for all I care, but don’t you dare hurt sentiments. I’m ready to put aside the stress I face at workplace, the EMIs I have to pay, the corruption I have to deal with, the thought of not being safe on the roads, but there’s no way I can deal with the unbearable pain of seeing the character of a terrorist in your film belong to my religion. What face will I show to God when I see him in the temple this week, you sentiment hurters! Now that the governments have started listening to people like me, here are some clear demands, or else, I know some cheap and best effigy makers who also supply black paint and shoes ki mala.

1. Include ‘avoidance of sentimental hurt’ as a compulsory subject in the curriculum from class II onwards. What? There are already too many subjects? Arrey, remove science or math or some such useless thing from the syllabus. Who cares for trigonometry when eventually I have to be out on the roads burning effigies and demanding bans. Teach children how to ensure that their artwork never has the remotest connection to any community or religion. In fact, teach them not to pursue any art if they can’t manage to make it hurt-free. Who cares for the creativity crap anyway? It’s the sentiments that count.

2. Allocate the portfolio of hurt-sentiments to a cabinet-ranked minister. In the interest of fairness and impartiality, the ministry of hurt sentiments should employ only those who belong to a religion not found anywhere in India. I’ve heard of some communities in extreme north corner of the south pole where you may find the right people, as they don’t believe in religion, or clothes. Any cases of their sentiments getting hurt on dealing with us, may be presented  before an international tribunal.

3. Institute degrees and awards for the stalwarts in this noble area of work. I know it sounds selfish but my sentiments should have at least fetched me a doctorate by now, considering I take equal offence at films and books depicting any religion in a bad light. I’m ready to base my thesis on coming up with an entirely new fictional religion, whose followers will exist only in books, films, theatre and artworks. They will bear no similarity or allegiance - in name, behaviour or appearance - to any religion or community in real life. To see Shah Rukh Khan or Ranbir Kapoor named as A1B2tutu may seem strange to you in the beginning, but you’ll get used to it. At least the sentiments won’t be hurt. Or haan, publicly punish parents who start naming their kids A1B2tutu after that. Otherwise, 20 years from now, a new community with hurt sentiments will be out raising slogans. Meri mehnat waste.

Sonal Kalra thinks there’ll be a mad rush of universities wanting to give her an honorary doctorate after this brilliant piece. She’s decided to accept all, as she can’t hurt sentiments.

BY- Sonal Karla (HT)

17 One-Tight-Slap Phrases to Avoid

Among all the theories of evolution, my favourite is that man (and of course woman!) kind is moving at a lightening pace towards absurdity. Oh, you don’t think there is any such theory? Dammit. Okay fine, it’s my own, and maybe because I’m clearly leading the pack that’s moving towards untouched 

heights of weirdness. The other day I sat and analysed some of the phrases and slangs I often use in my daily communication. A lot of us do. Then I went on the net and realised that they are the pet peeves of grammar Nazis across the world. But people continue to happily use them. Shall I tell you something my dear buoys? We are totally mental. Because it struck me that some of the most common expressions we throw in so randomly into our day-to-day language, don’t mean anything at all. Some are downright dumb.

Starting today, I’ve decided to cleanse myself of verbal nonsense. My dedication to the cause is such that I’ve spent quite a while compiling the following OTS (One-tight-slap)  phrases ... and how I, or some of those who’ve written about these on the Net react to them. Slap me if you find me dishing out these from now on …. only after you allow me to do the same with you.

1 What’s up?: Ha! All ‘cool’ dudes greeting everyone by saying ‘Whassup’, please come here. Tell me what the hell you want the other person to answer. What could possibly be up? The ceiling? The sky? Vaise, tell me one thing. Am I a pervert or does this question sound a bit obscene to anyone else too?

2 How do you do?: I have the same problem with this one too. How do I do what? For God’s sake, this doesn’t even seem like a grammatically complete or correct sentence. And yeah, obscene, again. Oh lord!

3 To be honest: I use this one a lot. Well, not anymore. If you say ‘to be honest’ before saying something, are you suggesting that you are normally dishonest in other things you say?

4 You know what I mean: Yes, I do Einstein. But that won’t keep you from saying it anyway, will it?

5 It is what it is: Wah, wah. Yeh hui nah intelligent baat. It is=It is. You are a mathematician, Sir. Respect.

6 I thought to myself: Hmm … could you have thought to ‘someone else’? Would you like the lead role in the next Ramsay Brothers’ film if you have those kind of powers? Consider, please.

7 I’m afraid I can’t: Bachche, it’s okay if you can’t. What are you afraid of? Koi maarega kya?

8 Are you coming, or what?: What, what, what? What was the need to add ‘or what’ here? Are you crazy or what?

9 What’s done is done: Are you the same guy who says ‘It is what it is’? You better be, I don’t want to kill two people.

10 You can’t have your cake and eat it too: Well, this is supposed to be a famous saying. My foot. If it’s my cake, of course I’ll eat it. What else am I supposed to do with it? Try stopping me.

11 I’m only human: Achha ji? And what are others, vermins who’ve come attached to humans as free gifts?

12 This is my only choice: Dimaag theek hai? The definition of choice is to have an alternative. If you have none, say ‘I have no choice’. There’s nothing like only choice.

13 Take care of your personal belongings: As opposed to what … my impersonal belongings? Oh, you mean something I stole from the fellow passenger? Don’t worry, I consider it very personal now.

14 Bring to the table: This rubbish gets said a lot in corporate meetings. Trust me, I can swear on Chaddha ji’s head that nothing ever gets brought to the table. Not even coffee. Also, when they say ‘he’s on board’… nobody is. I’ve checked very carefully.

15 Barking up the wrong tree: Believe me, barking up the right tree gets no different result. Total. Unadulterated. Nonsense. 

16 First things first: Please, it hurts to even joke about this one. Have you heard of a word called ‘Obviously’?

17 I saw it with ‘my own’ eyes: Oh shit.

Sonal Kalra bought a self-help book to clear her mind of these weird thoughts. But is it really self-help if a book written by someone else is helping her? Do we live in a crazy world?




By- Sonal Karla 

Tribute... Was in tears reading this...

Maa bohot Dard sah kar..
bohot dard de kar..
tujhse kuch kah kar main jaa rahi hun........

Aaj meri vidai main jab Sakhiyaan milne aayengi...
Safai­d Jode main lipti dekh sisak sisak mar jayengi...
Ladki­ hone ka khud pe fr wo Afsos jatayengi.....

M­aa tu unse itna kah dena Darindo k duniya main Sambhal kar rahna..........­.....
Maa Rakhi par jb Bhaiya Kalai suni rah jayegi..
yaad mujhe kar kar jab unki Aankh bhar ayegi....
Tilak mathe par karne ko Maa rooh meri bhi Machal jayegi...
Maa tu bhaiya ko rone na dena...
Main sath hu har Pal unse kah dena.......­.....

Maa Papa bhi chhup chhup bohot royenge...
main kuch na kar paya ye kah k khud ko kosenge....
Maa dard unhe ye hone na dena..
Ilzaam koi lene na dena...
Wo Abhimaan hai mera samman hai mera..
tu unse itna kah dena........

Maa­ tere liye ab kya kahu..
dard ko tere shabdon main kaise bandhu...
fir se jeene ka moka kaise maangu......

Maa­ log tujhe satayenge....
mu­jhe azaadi dene ka tujhpe ilzaam lagayenge....
Ma­a sab sah lena par ye na kahna
"Agle janam Mohe Bitiya na dena"

Dammit, The World Didn't End

 wish it did, before six beasts mauled a young girl and left her to die. I’ve always stayed away from writing this column on newsy topics. But today, you are likely to find this to be one among the many write ups on this same subject in the newspapers. And

maybe I’ll have nothing new to say that you haven’t already heard or read. Let me still say it, please. Because today I realise how utterly foolish and far away from reality it has been, to be talking about ‘calmness’, week after week, when we live in a society where so-called human beings exhibit animal-like behaviour at will. No, in fact, let me apologise to the animals for making this statement, because even they are known to have traces of compassion and kindness. The six men who gang raped and then savagely tortured a 23-year-old girl in a moving bus in our nation’s proud Capital last Sunday, before stripping her and her friend and throwing them on the road to die, don’t even deserve to be called animals.

While this incident has shocked and numbed practically everyone to the core, we also have to face the trauma of being informed that a majority of the men who committed the horrific act are not remorseful of what they did. And that there are  some in our country who, in the name of ‘human rights’,  are still saying that the rapists shouldn’t be given death penalty because it is wrong to take away a human life as punishment. But I thought these men had made it pretty clear last Sunday itself that there’s nothing remotely human about them. So, what rights are we talking about? 

While everyone is sad and angry about this incident and the state of women-safety in India in general, I’m also immensely sad at us having gradually turned into a suspicious, untrusting society. A male friend of mine loves kids more than anyone I’ve known. And he has this habit of making funny faces at stranger kids in elevators, making them giggle. Sometimes he would ask a cute kid to tell his or her name or pass a compliment on their dress, and the child would lighten up at the attention. Yesterday, his cheerful greeting of “Hello, little girl” to a five-year-old on the escalator of a shopping mall resulted in the girl’s mom creating a scene. Not only did she shout at my friend, but she also then screamed at her daughter saying, “Did I not tell you not to talk to any uncle or a boy? Boys are bad. They will take you away and hurt you!”

I just feel helpless at what we’ve become. Let me say it upfront. In my humble opinion, death penalty is nothing in front of the punishment that ought to be meted to the people whose acts have instilled a permanent fear of the male gender in the minds of our young generation of girls. Human rights activists can go take a hike for all I care. No, wait. Maybe I’m being inhuman now. Let’s give them jail term, and not hang them. As long as they are gang raped every night that they spend in the prison. Now that’s only fair, we can’t risk them coming out of jail some years later with pent-up sexual frustration. And see, we are not even taking their precious human life away. Right?

Sorry for sounding so cynical, but here’s just a list of things I’ve begun to hate ever since the Delhi gang rape incident acted as a tipping point, and plunged us to new, disgusting depths.

1 I hate it that while someone’s cherished daughter battles unthinkable physical pain lying on a hospital bed, some people in endless debates on TV channels have had the audacity to question whether a girl should have boarded a bus with dark windows and men in it, at night, in a city like Delhi. ‘We are being practical’, they say. Wouldn’t it be more practical and foolproof then, to make a rule that forbids men to venture out of homes after dark? Or better yet, just like we are so fond of telling our girls that they must take a brother or a cousin along for safety when they go out, let’s make it compulsory for all guys to always have a woman escort them when they leave homes after dark . Trust me, it’ll help the cops achieve a zero percent crime rate, both against men and women.

2 I hate the stigma attached to rape cases that’s so engrained in our psyche, that when this young girl got the first opportunity to interact with her mother, she scribbled on a piece of paper that her close friends be told that she’s gone out of town for some work.  Till the day we are able to give confidence to our daughters that our reaction to an assault on their sexual organs will be the same as that on any other part of their body, we’ll have to live with our heads bowed in shame.

3 I hate it when the laws of our democracy do precious little for the victim, but safeguard the ‘rights’ of the criminals to refuse identification parades or cover their faces while being taken into custody. I know that there are legal reasons and rules behind this, but then rules are made by human beings. Why can’t such criminals, who have even confessed to the heinous crime, be paraded in public so that they can sense the hatred in the eyes of people around them.  Rights ought to be for those who’ve done anything to deserve them, don’t you think?

4 I hate it when the desperate cries for action result in knee-jerk steps by the authorities, such as removing the dark film from all vehicle windows or shutting down all pubs in the city by 1 am. Why, that’s as illogical as suggesting that let us shut down the banks two hours early everyday as that might prevent robberies. A person who is sick enough in the head to commit rape will not hesitate because suddenly his car doesn’t have tinted glasses. He will hesitate if he knows that he’ll be thrashed in full public view if he does it. Why can’t we get that!

Mayans predicted that the world will end on December 21st this year. Well it didn’t, for most of us. For the girl who may not be able to eat through her mouth all her life even if she survives, it may just have. But her courage and the will to live despite all odds seem to have taken her straight into a new world, where the nightmare she went through has probably resulted in waking up millions of sleeping Indians. Maybe in this new world, my friend will be able to smile at a young girl without the fear of being misunderstood. Just maybe. 

Sonal Kalra feels ashamed when educated people blame clothes, culture or conduct for rape, when it is nothing but the urge to exercise control and power.


BY- Sonal Kalra (HT)

A wounded nation seeks answers

Some crimes are too gory to even imagine - like the one the national capital woke up to on Monday.

If movements have triggers, the gang rape of a girl in a moving bus - an unnamed 23-year-old who battles against the odds to live - has become a symbol of crimes against women in the country and has forced a pained and anguished nation to seek answers.

In the midst of widespread expressions of anger on the streets, a number of ugly realities - brushed under the carpet for too long - are, for perhaps the first time, being openly discussed.

Law and order, judicial reforms, punishments meted out to offenders and patriarchal Indian mindsets are being addressed in the public domain.

But despite the heated exchanges between citizen and state, between political parties, between friends and colleagues or in the home, there is no doubt that now is the time to act. India has had enough.

1. WHY do rapes happen? And why do groups of men attack a woman?
According to psychologists, gang rape is a manifestation of certain psychodynamics in a patriarchal society - factors such as false appraisal of masculinity, peer approval, boredom, joblessness combined together can lead to such sort of psychopathic gang behaviour.

Police records make no any distinction between rape and gang-rape, so no official stats are available. Gang rape is seen as a part of "negative group dynamics".

Sociologist, Shiv Viswanathan, calling this phenomenon an urban malaise, says, "Gang rape, not terrorism, is the ultimate terror in metros."

Viswanathan explains, "Usually gang rapists belong to two sects of society - either rich or powerful or the poor and unemployed. And it's in the big cities that the divide between both builds misplaced anger." -Zofeen Maqsood

2. WHY has it come to this? And is the problem even bigger than we know of? According to statistics, in 2002, New York City reported 1,468 cases of rape, London reported 2,731 cases, Delhi had 383 reported cases of rape this year. This, however, may be misleading as a large number of cases in India go unreported.

A patriarchal culture where "a woman is seen as a source who can bring potential shame to the family," is responsible, says Nirmala Venkatesh, former member of National Commission of Women.

"It is because of this fear that many women chose to bear the trauma silently," she adds.

Lawyer Pinky Anand however points out that social stigma is global.

According to Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, in US 54% of sexual assaults are not reported to police and about 97% of rapists never spend a day in jail.

Anand says, "Add to it delayed trials, hostile witnesses and justice is often delayed or denied.''

Experts also feel the apathy shown at various levels in society that further discourage a girl from gaining the courage to report. - ZM

3. WHY are people feeling so helpless and angry, even though it's 'yet another case'?
While doctors wage a war to save the 23-year-old victim, the incident has triggered mass protests across the nation.

"This violent incident is being viewed as a result of the state's complete indifference toward its citizens. The widespread protests could be an attempt to activate the state from its moral lethargy," says Radhika Chopra, a DU professor of sociology.

The girl, who was brutally battered by six men, had to be put on ventilator and doctors were forced to remove almost her entire intestines.

"A couple brutally assaulted at a decent evening hour and in the heart of the city forced people to speak up," says Anand Kumar, sociology professor at, JNU.

"It has crossed a threshold. This has shaken the conscience of the country," says Dr Sandeep Vohra, psychiatrist at Apollo hospital. - FS

4. WHY even lowly criminals and murderers look down on the rape accused?
Mukesh Singh, 30, among the accused men arrested for the gangrape, was greeted with expletives and jeering by jail inmates on Wednesday. (5 other accused are in a police lockup and yet to be sent to the jail by a court).

Singh could even get assaulted physically by co-inmates.

"A rape accused is ostracized, not given work or position of responsibility by co-inmates or even jail authorities," says retired IPS officer BK Gupta, former Delhi police commissioner.

Singh is among 1,200 other rape accused and convicts in Tihar, who constitute up to 10 per cent of Tihar's population of 12,000.

"A rapist is deemed filthy and at the bottom of the pile as per this hierarchy as he's seen to have targeted a vulnerable girl, part of somebody's family," said the source, adding: "Even a murderer cares about his family." Rape accused fear co-inmates in the US and some European countries too. Jails there segregate them. - Abhishek Sharan

5. IS the incident our Sandy Hook in terms of the shockwaves? And how do we explain it?
When a gunman walked into the Sandy Hook elementary school in the US earlier this month and shot 22 children dead, it shocked the entire world and led to the US rethinking their gun laws.

The Delhi gang-rape has been as shocking. Besides the anger and helplessness, the gory nature of the crime makes it difficult to explain to children.

"How will you explain it to kids when even adults find it difficult to hear about this heinous crime? The only way is not to go into the gory details but to give a good sense of the crime and its consequences," says Dr Samir Parikh, psychiatrist, Fortis Healthcare.

"Schools can be helpful in communicating such issues to children. You need to allow a child to vent out his feelings," adds Dr Parikh. - Furquan Siddiqui

6. WHY were male politicians silent, leaving women MPs to make emotional speeches?
While the country argued over issues raised - who should take responsibility? Why was security so lax? - Male MPs were relatively mum on the issue, leaving the female MPs to make emotional speeches.

But this, says Rajya Sabha MP Mani Shankar Aiyar, is not reflective of "any lack of concern on the part of the male MPs."

He says: "Especially on an issue like this, it's more appropriate that instead of me, Renuka Chaudhury should speak."

But Kamal Mitra Chenoy, professor of political theory at JNU, says: "It's a patriarchal thing," and he adds "On women's issues, men MPs can be extremely ill-mannered. In fact, few MPs have spoken about it even on TV." - Samar Khurshid

7. WHY is a woman's voice - and her vote - not being heard in the country? 
In elections, appeals are often made to caste/religion vote banks but gender issues are not prominent. Kamal Mitra Chenoy, professor of political theory at JNU, says the reason is that patriarchy and masculinity are very strong.

"The perception of traditional gender roles still exists. Women are seen as commodities, not independent thinkers."

Sociologist Amit Sharma says: "Even though there has been a demographic change in women, men do not see them as equal."

Kavita Krishnan, Secretary AIPWA, says, "No dominant political party is willing to challenge patriarchal attitudes." - SK

8. WHY was there such lax security to begin with?
While Police has come under criticism, there has been talk of forces been underemployed. With shortage of staff, the police move from one crisis to another.

The plan to deploy men at the bus stop started last year, but it stopped midway and only after the gangrape, the police decided to conduct a fresh survey. There is also a staff necessity. If there are ten personnel at a station, eight would be present in the day. This means only two are available for night duty.

The night staff too patrol only till 2am. This is why there is hardly any police presence after midnight. Authorities have pledged to change this. - Faizan Haider

By- Hindustan Times

30 Habits of Women Men Don’t Get

Women like to believe and like you to believe that they can get along perfectly well without a plan. But the truth is they cannot. Everything has to be organised, arranged, expected, and planned. And this is just the beginning of their quirkiness. Over the years, women have harboured and honed habits that they continue to develop and stick to with fervour. We list a few of those.

1. Going to the ladies room in groups

‘Seriously, what is that all about?’ is what all men think and discuss when all the ladies at their table get up together to visit the ladies room. We, like many others, have tried to decode this habit of women in the past, but there still remains an air of mystery around the ladies room saga. 

2. A dab of powder here & a touch of lipstick there

Most women carry mini make-up stores in their bags. When going to a party, women leave home all decked up. A 15 minute car ride later, they ‘touch up’ their faces before entering the designated venue. And at this exact instant men wonder, why is she doing that? Didn’t she spend an hour getting ready anyway?

 

 

3. Giggling

All women giggle. In fact, all women love to giggle. There is nervous giggle, excited giggle, I’m-hiding-a-secret giggle and so on. Women giggle out of habit, but not without reason. And the reason behind the giggle is hardly ever known to the confused man.

 

4. ‘Am I fat, honey?’

To be honest, women ask this question more out of habit. Yes, they are conscious about their weight and their looks, but many-a-times this question is thrown at a man just because their subconscious says it is time to do. So, the next time she asks you this question, make sure you give an answer that she is habituated to listen to. 

 

5. The face pack

Yes, men know that the face pack promises to give women a glowing, well moisturised skin. But I haven’t met a single man who has genuinely noticed a considerable difference in the way his

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6. Try 5 outfits; Decide to buy a new one

All women do this. Before going to a party they try everything their wardrobe has to offer, and then ceremoniously declare they have no clothes and need to go shopping ASAP.

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7. Clutches

The only thing a clutch can hold is one pair of keys and a lipstick. The rest – comb, phone, tissues, powder, etc – are all stuffed in the dashboard of the car or a man’s pocket. In spite of knowing the uselessness of a clutch, women carry it with them, always. Why?

8. The BIG bag

Obviously women need to carry a bag around. But do they need to carry a bag big enough to fit the Taj Mahal in it? Probably not.

8. The BIG bag

Obviously women need to carry a bag around. But do they need to carry a bag big enough to fit the Taj Mahal in it? Probably not.

 

9. Foot / nail lotion

A cream for the face, hair, body is one thing. But the habit of buying a separate cream for the foot, toes, and nails is something men never understand. The question that crosses a man’s mind is: foot and nails are a part of the body, so why a separate cream for them?

 

10. Ribbons

Women love ribbons. They like to tie them to their hair, use it to hold paper together, add them to gift packaging and perhaps use them to decorate a hat. Ribbons are a part of every woman’s collection and it is one thing they cannot do without. Creatures of habit?

 

11. Greeting cards

It is the day and age of e-cards and text messages, but women cannot get over their greeting card obsession. And men cannot understand why! A greeting card needs to be made or bought for birthdays, anniversaries and any and all events of celebration.

 

12. Cleaning and arranging

For most women, cleaning and arranging things in their proper order is a hobby, let alone a habit. They cannot rest till all the blues are lined from light to dark, till the cushions are puffed up

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13. Crockery and Cutlery

Women love both these items. The kitchen is well stocked with a fruit fork, a dessert spoon, a salad bowl, a serving dish, an eating dish, a small plate, a…. OMG! By the time the man figures out in what plate he is to eat using which fork, he is sure to lose his appetite.

 

14. Change of clothes

Women love changing clothes. If possible, they would have separate morning, afternoon, evening, night and late-night clothes and go about changing their looks 5 times a day for every day of their life. Alas! Budget and space constraints stop them from following this habit to the T. 

 

15. Yes means No, No means Yes

ALL men agree that they cannot fathom this particular habit of women. For the love of God, why do women have to say yes when they mean no and vice versa?! Maybe, they are just genetically engineered to be this way. Maybe.

 

16. Frenemies

You know that habit, when women hug each other when they meet but then bad mouth one another behind the back? Yea, that one. This frenemy concept is one which men fail to understand. Coz in the man world, you’re either a buddy or not. Simple.

 

17. Trick questions

“So, who is hotter? Your ex or the one you were staring at 2 minutes ago” THIS right here is a trick question. She doesn’t care about your ex, she doesn’t care about the other woman, she is mad at you for staring but she won’t tell you that. Instead, she will put you in a spot and absolutely agonise you. And she is doing this out of habit. 

17. Trick questions

“So, who is hotter? Your ex or the one you were staring at 2 minutes ago” THIS right here is a trick question. She doesn’t care about your ex, she doesn’t care about the other woman, she is mad at you for staring but she won’t tell you that. Instead, she will put you in a spot and absolutely agonise you. And she is doing this out of habit. 

 

 

18. Shopping

This one is a centuries old issue and men have made peace with it by accepting the fact that women love to shop. Still, if you dig deeper you will know that men simply cannot fathom how women can love shopping so much? How can they make a habit out of a rather tiresome experience? HOW?

18. Shopping

This one is a centuries old issue and men have made peace with it by accepting the fact that women love to shop. Still, if you dig deeper you will know that men simply cannot fathom how women can love shopping so much? How can they make a habit out of a rather tiresome experience? HOW?

 

19. Ask questions, yet don’t seek answers

Of course women love asking questions. In fact they are habituated to asking ones they know they don’t want an answer to. Yet, they trouble a man till he answers and then yell at him for answering. Women and their habits!

19. Ask questions, yet don’t seek answers

Of course women love asking questions. In fact they are habituated to asking ones they know they don’t want an answer to. Yet, they trouble a man till he answers and then yell at him for answering. Women and their habits!

 

20. Gossip

Men gossip too. But they don’t understand how women can live on gossip; day-in, day-out, 24 hours, 7 days of unadulterated gossip. Truth be told, this is one habit that is passed down generations. It is an important evolutionary concept and men shouldn’t break their head trying to understand it. 

21. Carrying flats around

Women love heels, even when they cannot walk in them. Yet, they will wear them and, as an alternative, carry flats around. When you see a woman switching her heels with her flats, you will spot her companion (standing right next to her) rolling his eyes in exasperation.

 

22. Texting

“What will you eat?” “What time will you come?” “If you are reaching in 5, should I heat the food?” Women have found a way of turning texting into question-asking. And men are yet again at a loss of words at a woman’s ability to turn a helpful tool into a tiresome habit.

 

23. To eat or not to eat

Women don’t want to gain weight and yet they dream about chocolates and cakes. Why not eat and be happy or not eat and be happy? But then again, women never liked to keep it simple. 

 

24. Screeching

Women screech. They don’t shout or yell, they make that shrieking noise that can burn a hole in a man’s ears. If you don’t know what I am talking about, think of the way in which girls screech when they see their favourite celebrity or pair of shoes they love. Got what I am saying now?

 

25. Pouting and posing

Women love to pout and pose. All you have to do is stand with a camera in front of them and they will start their performance. While men are perfectly happy to make do with an awkward smile, women feel it imperative to unleash their inner model. Yet again, to do so is their habit and men don’t understand head or tail of it.

 

26. Cross-checking

Women like to verify facts and stories. And they do so even at the risk of irking their man. Women may cross-check out of habit or doubt, but this behavioural trait is one they got to do away with.

 

27. Sharing EVERYTHING with her BFF

Men have never understood and perhaps will never understand why women share everything with their girlfriends. They also cannot comprehend what it is that woman can talk about for hours and hours non-stop. Guess, it’s just a girly thing afterall! 

 

28. Last minute arrangements

Women will work and arrange and decide and organise till the very last minute. So much so, that sometimes, all the preparations make the man not want to go to wherever it is that they are headed.

 

29. The silent treatment

Either they talk too much and ask too many questions or they don’t talk at all. Using silence as a weapon when they’re upset is typical of a woman. This is one habit that *scares* men and puts them into uncomfortable, damage-control zone ASAP.

 

 

30. XOXO and <3 h4="h4"> Women love using symbols and emoticons to express their feelings. While it is good sometimes, most of the times most men think it is downright funny and unnecessary. What’s this excessive need to blow air kisses and hugs in the first place, they wonder.

 

 

From- Mensxp.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 most annoying habits of women

Nothing compares to the sensuous, seductive caress of a woman; that perfume that gets you heady; the way their soft hands feel in yours; the way those soft, luscious lips feel on your cheeks; the way that fabric hugs their figure.

There is nothing that beats it. They have to simply walk past us in those shiny heels to get us swooning and sighing. It doesn't take much for them to floor us.
But we all know how despite being God's most wonderful creation, they can get to us with those annoying habits of theirs. Those habits that make us tear our hair out. If only women would get rid of these, we will have nothing to complain about, ever. Here are some of them:

1. It's nothing

When in the middle of a sentence, you stop short and say, "I wanted to tell you something, but never mind, it's nothing", we immediately get danger signs popping up left and right. Here's what you actually come across as saying.
a) I don't think you're capable enough of understanding what I was going to say
b) I don't want to share this information with you, I'd rather do it with someone else
c) I have other important things to do, so goodbye.

2. Yap, yap, yap

God, can you women folk talk! We're perfectly okay as long as you're yapping away with your girlfriends. We don't know where you find endless things to talk about, but, we're sorry, we cannot spend five hours on the phone with you. It not only heats up our ears, it sort of nibbles at our brains. If only you'd shut up and listen to us every now and then. Whoever said you're good listeners? You're only just waiting to start off with your story the moment there is a second's silence in the conversation.

3. I don't know you

"You know everything about me, but I hardly know a thing about you," is your common grouse. Now whose fault is that? Did we ask you to tell us every damn thing about your life? Did we come and ask you about every family member in your family and their quirks? If you voluntarily offer information, it is not mandatory, we do the same. And if you think you don't know us, place a hot seat and shoot with the questions, as long as it comes with a guarantee for some action by the end of it.

4. Waterworks

When you bring out the waterworks, that's when you really get to us. Is there a reason you cry at the bat of an eyelid? Do you have a tap up there somewhere, which is at your beck and call? What is it with you women? Do you have to cry for every little thing? You know how to use it well though, because you use it to induce guilt; you use to win arguments; you use it to tilt us to your way of thinking.

5. This or that?

You will hover over something for eternity: this dress or that? Pasta or lasagna? Red shoes or blue ones? God, just pick up a damn thing and get over with it, will you? We don't have the patience until you match every piece of your outfit a million times and just when it seems to be coming together, change your mind and star all over again. We don't really care after a point of time. Yes, we want you to look your best, but we can't wait forever for you to make up your mind.

6. Hairy Harry

I know it is really hard for women. You have to do so much to look good for the men in your life. So much maintenance. I know all of that. But unfortunately that's how it is. We love you for a reason. And when at times there is hair on your upper lips or on your chin, it puts us off. Like you have expectations of us: chivalry, commitment, humor, sensitivity, hygiene etc, we too have certain expectations of you. And don't try to bleach your hair because it's not the colour of your hair that's the problem, it's the hair.

7. Meddlesome monkey

We also don't like the fact you interfere in everything we do: our hairstyle to our clothes to our drinking to the way we talk, walk, the channels we watch etc. Always remember, you chose us for a reason, so why try and change us now? So, please back off and give us some breathing room.

8. Tell us what to say

If you cook something and you ask us for our opinion, we are instantly in trouble. If we say it is good, you say we’re saying it for the heck of it. If we say it’s not so good, you will say we are insensitive and mean. If we say it lacks seasoning, you will make a face and tell us to take charge of the kitchen. Same goes with everything else: from the dresses you chose to something you paint or write or sing or whatever it is. Whatever we say, we are in trouble anyway, so you might as well give us a list of acceptable comments that we shall always follow.


From- Yahoo