A recent study of 2000 British people
revealed that men lie on average six times a day; that’s double the
amount of the average woman. We’ve all heard the classic “no, your bum
doesn’t look big in that”, but what other common lies do men tell women?
Lies men tell women 1: “I don’t want to do anything, but let’s just lie in bed”
Men feel that desexualising the thought of you and him in bed means
that he’s onto a winner when it comes to a little sexy time. When he
says “let’s go to bed for a snuggle” it usually leads to “shall we hop
under the covers? It’s getting chilly” and then “please take your
clothes off, I love the feel of your skin next to mine”, and you get the
idea of where it goes from there. Sometimes it’s good to just go along
with this because it can be entertaining for women to wait for his next
move; it’s always so predictable that it’s kind of comical. Bless men
for thinking they’re being all sneaky when we know exactly what they’re
up to. Cheeky little liars!
Lies men tell women 2: “No, I’m not married”
Whether they’re single or taken, married or divorced, the weak spot
for many men is revealing their true relationship status when they’re
approached by a member of the opposite sex. “I’m divorced and on the
dating scene at the moment” usually translates to “I’m married with five
kids” when you’re speaking to the man who swears that the awfully
suspicious ring on his finger was a present from his mum. Men love
being approached by a member of the opposite sex because it gives them
an ego boost and they love to lap it up. It’s not until a few days later
when they add you to a social networking site from a friend’s account
that you come across their account. And their fiancé’s account. Busted.
Come on guys, have some common sense.
Lies men tell women 3: “I’m on my way”
“I’m on my way now”, when said by a man, is usually accompanied by
background music and the relentless chatting of familiar voices that you
recognise to be those of his friends in a bar. What he means is that
he’s thinking about coming home but isn’t quite ready yet. When you ring
him an hour later, he says “Sorry babe, my mate bought me another drink
so I had to stay” – classic male lie. The trick to getting your man
home on time tonight is telling him you’ll be wearing something sexy at
8.00pm. He’ll be home pronto with no excuses to be heard. Until he
realises your sexy underwear is actually your comfy clothes and he comes
to the sudden realisation that’s he’s supposed to be meeting his
mate...
Lies men tell women 4: “I’m sober as a judge”
What is it with men not being able to admit that they can’t handle
their drink? “I’m sober as a judge” he insists, as he stumbles his way
up the stairs. If you’re going to tell this lie, men, at least don’t
walk up the stairs like you have two left feet. Try brushing your teeth
before you try kissing us too; alcohol breath is the biggest tell-tale
sign of a drunken partner. Even the next morning when you clearly have
the hangover from hell, the closest to the truth we’re going to get is
“I did get a little tipsy, but I certainly wasn’t drunk”.
Lies men tell women 5: “I was staring at her jeans because I thought they’re the same as yours”
When a man is looking at another lady’s behind and you pull him up on
it, the classic excuse is “I was staring at her jeans because I thought
they were the same as yours”. Erm, I don’t own a pair of bright pink
jeans so I don’t think they are the same as mine and even if they were
the same, why would this be so fascinating? We know that men look at
other women, but when they do it right in front of our eyes and then lie
about it, it makes us feel kind of bad about ourselves. Some men just
don’t seem to have any control over their wandering eyes these days.
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